Candy-coated

CM3 (as he likes to be called, which is kind of dumb) is one of the top “weirdos” in the “bizarro” fiction “world.” He’s written 24 books and is best known for

and its sequel,

However, we’d be remiss not to recommend

, and his latest,

. Go read some excerpts at carltonmellick.com if you’re into burrowing through a wormhole of disturbing surrealism and absurd satire.

Story read by: 

Madelyn Burgess, the girl who tells you which register to use at Whole Foods over the PA.

ladies

laydaaays

have

amazing

have