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Cry-Baby of the Week: A Woman Tried to Shoot Some Shoplifters

Also this week: a college kid attacked a bunch of people (including a cop) because he was refused mac and cheese.

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: An unnamed woman in Michigan

Screenshot via Fox 2 Detroit

The incident: A woman witnessed a suspected shoplifter fleeing a Home Depot.

The appropriate response: Nothing. Maybe sticking your leg out to trip them if you're a really good citizen and they pass by you.

The actual response: She started shooting at them.

According to local police, store security at a Home Depot in Auburn Hills, Michigan attempted to stop a man who they suspected of shoplifting last Tuesday. Witnesses say he was able to escape into an SUV being driven by another man before fleeing the scene.


Another customer, who has not been named, but is described as being a 48-year-old woman with a concealed pistol license (CPL), witnessed this and attempted to intervene.

"The customer that was a CPL holder then fired shots at the vehicle believing to have hit one of the tires of the vehicle," Jill McDonnell of Auburn Hills Police Department told Fox 2.

Despite the possible flat tire, the two shoplifters were able to escape. They reportedly had over $1000 worth of stolen tools.

A CPL expert speaking with Fox explained that the woman was legally in the wrong for using her gun in this situation, as guns are only to be used when "you are defending yourself or someone else against the threat of great bodily harm, rape, or death."

The woman was not been arrested. Police spoke to her, but she was released pending an investigation.

Cry-Baby #2: Luke Gatti

The incident: A drunk guy was denied jalapeño bacon mac and cheese.

The appropriate response: Getting food elsewhere. Probably at home.

The actual response: He threw a tantrum so severe that he ended up getting arrested.

Last Sunday, 19-year-old University of Connecticut student Luke Gatti attempted to buy some bacon and jalapeño macaroni cheese from the college's cafeteria. He was denied service, apparently because he'd been drinking alcohol on the premises.

In a video of the incident, Luke can be seen repeatedly requesting some "fucking bacon jalapeño mac and cheese." When his requests are ignored, Luke tries a few different tactics, ranging from calling the manager a "fucking fag" to shoving him in the chest.


At one point during the encounter, Luke realizes he's being filmed and turns to the manager and says "This is gonna be posted somewhere, and you're gonna look like a fucking tool."

After Luke shoves the manager a second time, another member of staff tackles him to the ground while screaming "You don't touch my boss!"

The video ends with Luke calling the manager a bitch, and seemingly spitting in his face. This causes the responding officer to rush him out of the building, using his face to open the door. At the moment of impact, Luke makes an incredibly satisfying sound, that I guess I would write as "gwelpth."

Luke was charged with breach of peace in the second degree and criminal trespassing. This is not the first time Luke has been in trouble with the law. Last year, he was reportedly arrested for disorderly conduct (which included calling a cop a "fucking nigger.")

According to Death and Taxes, Luke was also expelled from UConn Tuesday.

A writer from The Hartford Courant tried the bacon jalapeño mac and cheese to see if it was worth going to prison and getting kicked out of school for. They said it was only OK.

Who here is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:

Previously: A woman who attacked someone for farting vs. a guy who complained to the police because a store published images of him shoplifting.

Winner: The shoplifter!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.