Because a prison-rioter claimed there would be less violence in jail if there was more sex.
"I just wanted to go home, have a cuppa with my old man and wait for the filth to show up. Just a little holiday, really."
"Listen, this here [prison] is slavery, we're the slaves to these bastards. How they can call me a slave-owner when you see what it's like in here is a scandal."
I didn't want to be a homewrecker. But that's how a lot of people see it.
Together you get your financial house in order, finalize his will, take baths, and cry.
It really is the worst time to get to know the person you share a flat with.
'I've had an agent call me to tell me that his client punched his girlfriend in the face, but he's sorry and he's willing to speak to the media about it – for a fee.'
As bad a man as my father is, I still struggle with the guilt of placing the man I loved and admired for so long into a cramped, violent cage.
The "surprise butthole" was probably one of my worst clients. He just went straight in while I had my back turned. It was a really sudden pain, and I turned around and slapped him in the face yelling "That's not ok!"
According to the Chief Inspector of Prisons, spice is having a "devastating impact" on inmates, so we asked them to tell us what they've seen.
Trying to maintain contact with my loved ones turns into a maze of skipped meals, smuggled cell phones, and a whole lot of pain.
I guess that's what you get when you try to investigate separatist movements on a tourist visa.