So Sad Today

So Sad Today

  • I Grew as a Person and It Sucks

    It was not for moral reasons that I finally quit engaging in casual sex, sexting, and the cultivation of crushes and romantic obsessions. But, for me, the pain of disappointment and chemical withdrawal eventually became so fierce that I had to quit the...

  • ​Only Everyone Can Judge Me

    I take solace in the realization that the river of haterade is going to flow no matter what.

  • Eating Gives Me Anxiety and Not Eating Gives Me Anxiety

    Lately, I feel that the way I've lived for years—in hyperconscious, hypervigilant awareness of everything I put in my mouth—no longer serves to quell my depression and anxiety. It actually exacerbates it.

  • The Smell of Depression

    It seems like I've divided my feelings into categories, the way that one might do with fragrance types: floral, citrus, earthy, smoky, gourmand, spicy.

  • Everything Is a Drug

    I've been in the crystal game for less than a year and already my thoughts and well-being have become controlled by quartzes, amethysts, tourmalines, and calcites.

  • ​If I’m Not the Worst, What Am I?

    After publishing a book that wasn't a complete failure, I've been having some very disturbing thoughts. What if I don't totally suck? What if I'm not the worst person on the planet? What if I do, God forbid, deserve happiness?