CHODES ACROSS AMERICA

Here are the current results of our chode survey.

As of last night, we've had 275 respondents, with 181 favoring the usage of chode as a synonym for taint or gooch, and 70 for chode meaning a penis that is fatter than it is long. (The remaining 24 largely disavow the term's anatomical significance for full insistence of "an unpleasant or thick-headed fellow, jerk".)

Plotted across a map of the US some interesting trends have started developing from our findings. The strongest incidences of chode-as-taint appear to run along a north-south axis from Southern Ontario through Western Appalachia and into Georgia and Florida. Texas and Utah appear to be the sole outlier states with a solid taint majority, though in light of the negligible number of responses from the Ozarks and Bayou Country, it is possible that they belong to a larger taint belt.

Most surprisingly, though, so far it appears that while short-fat-dick usage is prevalent in a large number of states, its strongest concentrations are in Southern California and Oregon, overturning our initial hypothesis that the taint usage was principally, or at least in origin, a West Coast phenomenon.

We're excited to see how this plays out as we take in responses and interested in how the revelations that Kurt Vonnegut (Mass./NY) identified the word with a disproportionately wide penis in Breakfast of Champions and that Mike Watt (Ca.) defines "choad" as "one who hesitates" will impact the results.

If you have not already submitted your chode definition, please either email it to us or leave it in the comments with the location in which you grew up.