Emalie Marthe
The Monarch Mind Control Mystique
Doctors have allegedly diagnosed Amanda Bynes with schizophrenia, but a faction of the internet believes Amanda is actually a victim of monarch mind control, an Illuminati practice supposedly used by Teen Nick to monetize and sexualize young starlets.
I Catfished Hundreds of Boys to Understand the Male Sex
I want it to be true that dressing to impress other girls will also bring the boys to the yard, but part of me has always wondered if guys are only attracted to girls whose style bows down to men. So I created two accounts on Tinder, the heterosexual...
I Sacrificed a Chicken and Drank Vinegar in the Name of Megan Fox
As a feminist, I want to love Megan Fox for calling out Michael Bay's sexism, but as a sane human being I struggle to love a woman who considers Red Lobster her favorite restaurant. But eccentricity is a quality we tolerate in male stars, so I decided...
Celebrity Baby Smack Down: North West Vs. the Royal Baby
When I discovered both Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton would give birth this summer, I became excited about the prospect of a baby smack down, because watching children try to kill each other is rewarding and fun. Who will win the Thunderdome matchup...
I Wore Vaseline on My Face Because Tyra Banks Told Me To
One time, Tyra Banks gave a bunch of ladies bedazzled jars of Vaseline and told them if they covered their bodies in petroleum jelly they could look like supermodels too. I wore Vaseline on my face to see if it really worked.
