Growing Up

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  • The Strongest Dwarf in New Jersey

    When I was a toddler in New Jersey, my only playmate was the seven-year-old dwarf who lived next door. And although I don't blame him for anything, that dwarf came to physically torment me to the point of bruises and diapers full of sand.

  • The Jerkoff Diaries, Part IV

    This whole project is about growing up. Putting away childish things. Yes, your penis is a childish thing, particularly when you use it as a play toy. And I’ve realized my body is not a toy anymore. It's not a temple exactly yet. Maybe it’s a crucible...

  • Dear Dolly Doctor

    You probably haven't heard of Melissa Kang, but thanks to her alter ego Dolly Doctor you avoided a lot of awkward talks with your parents.

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  • The VICE Guide to School

    Going to school in the 21st century is much like it's always been, i.e. like walking a horrible, horrible tightrope of anxiety and embarrassment. Lucky for you, I possess the authority to help guide you through this terrible time. So spit out that gum...

  • The Odd Couple

    The first time I did DMT I was listening to Growing. I left my body and went blissfully floating through a heavenly realm of gothic cathedrals and blue shiny caves under a pink sky made of billowing curtains.

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