prison
Reading 'Born Again' in Jail
I’ve spent the last year or so in a federal lock-up awaiting trial on charges that have been duly analyzed elsewhere. Long story short: I’m facing decades in prison...
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Through the Eyes of an Ex-Con
Orange Is the New Black is a damn good show about prison. It's based on Piper Kerman's memoir, which she wrote after spending some time in the clink-clink, and actually her story is similar to mine—we were both living upper-middle-class lives...
Some Advice for a Sex Offender on His Way to Prison
I received a particularly desperate letter last week. I won’t provide too many of the details 'cause the case is still going on but it appears the feller did some real rapist shit on a young girl—he says it was consensual, but when a girl is so young...
Remembering Independence Day Behind Bars
Other than getting some bonerable melon, there wasn't anything good about spending Independence Day in prison. It was another ugly reminder that us inmates were missing out on the real world. Anyone we talked to outside was going to tell us about the...
Molly Crabapple Draws Guantanamo's Camp X-Ray
Camp X-Ray is the first place that the US held detainees in Guantanamo. Captives lived there for four months in 2002 while the military built permanent prison camps. Prisoners lived in open mesh cages under the brutal Cuban sun. Their cells had no...
There's No Sex in Prison Showers
The average guy in jail is so scared of homosexuals or people thinking that he might be gay that we all wear our underwear in the shower. We’ve all seen the jail shows and heard the endless “Don’t drop the soap” jokes, but in all the years I was locked...
Orgasm Addict - GG Allin’s Stained Prison Walls
According to his jailhouse diary, GG Allin jerked off almost 100 times during his first 30 days in prison. It was 1989, and the outlaw scumfuck was behind bars for assaulting a groupie. The first-ever collection of diaries, letters, and (most...
Burying the Dead and Unloved
Part of a 15-cent-an-hour job I had while in prison was burying inmates who died and had no one who could claim the bodies, or else didn’t have anyone who gave a shit to arrange a proper funeral. They had died over the winter and their bodies had been...
Rich Paul Is Appealing His 81-Year Prison Sentence for Selling Pot
A jury found Rich Paul guilty last month and sent him away for a long, long time for a nonviolent crime. But he's appealing—even though he admittedly sold weed to an FBI informant—on the grounds that that jury wasn't properly informed about their...
HardWhite and Harry Potter
Harry Potter was fresh from the world and had a sickness to feed. The weakling fiend probably hated everything right now, but mostly he hated that his drug was gone. All Harry Potter will want is to get high and the boys are about to swarm on him...
Alexis Neiers’s Pretty Wild Road to Recovery
Alexis Neiers's life has been turned into a meme, a magazine article, a book, a symbol for millenial narcissism, and now a movie directed by Sophia Coppola and starring Emma Watson. But she's trying to escape all that.
Hearing from Three Guantanamo Bay Prisoners Who've Been on Hunger Strike for 100 Days
Yesterday was the 100th day of the inmates' protest against their treatment and, out of the 166 still being held at Guantanmo, 102 are on hunger strike, with 30 being force-fed. Authorities shackle hunger-strikers to chairs and insert tubes into their...