Hung Like A Gastropod

Interview By Briony Wright

Illustrations By Martin Puschel

This is the land snail’s private area. The creatures possess both male and female sex organs, which are planted pretty much right on their faces. For Martin, this is the starting point—the majority of his work focuses on the goop inside the penis.

Say you sliced some guy’s dick in half lengthwise. That’s this, but on a snail. Those pustule things inside the penis chamber on the far right are what identify this species as Torresitrachia crawfordi. The pustules (in other species referred to as riblets or pilasters) are thought to function as a key-lock system, helping to prevent crossbreeding—like a conscience might in humans.

Vice: Hey Martin, how did you land a gig drawing the infinitesimal genitals of mollusks?

Martin Püschel:

Wait, there are enough unidentified types of snails in Australia to require a full-time team?

Do you ever illustrate the entire snail, or is it all about their sex bits?

I’ve always thought of snails as little more than the putrid trails of goo they leave in their wake.

But how extraordinary can snails really be?

One last question that’s been bothering me for a while: What are the implications of accidentally stepping on a snail in the garden? Can the shell grow back?

Snails get boners, which retreat back into the body when not in use. To the left is a drawing of the inner workings of the species Amplirhagada montalivetensis’s erection, as identified by the thick swellings (pilasters) inside the penis chamber. The snail’s basket, if you’re wondering, is embedded in the digestive system.

The riblets above, from the species Xanthomelon prudhoensis, are believed to have a stimulating effect during snail sex. Most land snails perform a ritual courtship before mating, lasting anywhere between two and 12 hours. The resulting eggs will produce as many as 100 adorable baby snails!