We Told Some Italian Men That They Don't Have Any Balls

A law was recently passed in Italy's highest court that outlaws citizens from accusing Italian men of having no balls. If you're caught flouting the new law, you can be taken to court and punished with a fine and, presumably, an overbearing sense of injustice that you'll take to the grave.

Although this definitely sounds like one of those silly laws that used to exist in the 1700s—there's probably a list of all of them in a book somewhere in your dad's bathroom—it's very, very real. The amount of jokes to be made about Italian men and insecurities surrounding their manhood is immeasurable at the moment. Instead, to tide ourselves over, we got a pretty Italian girl to call up some Italian men and tell them straight up that they have no balls. Because why? Because science.

STRADA - ITALIAN RESTAURANT CHAIN, LONDON

Host: Hello, this is Strada.

VICE: I don't think you have any balls.
Excuse me?

You heard me.
[Pause] Damn you. You got nothing else to say, prick?

No balls, you chickens. I'll shout at you all morning if I want to. It's not Italy, it's the UK.
Catch a disease. Fuck off.

HOTEL BONVECCHIATI, VENICE

Concierge: Good morning, this is Hotel Bonvecchiati. We have no vacancies for August, if you're calling for bookings?

You don't have any balls.
Don't call me up and curse at me, you idiot. Do I know who you are?

It doesn't matter. You've got no balls.
Who do you think you are? Bite my cock and go to hell. No one in heaven would even bother spitting on you.

TUSCANY VILLAS FOR RENT - THE FIRST RESULT ON GOOGLE

Concierge: Good morning, Tuscany Villas.

I'd like to talk to the concierge, please.
Good morning, how can I help?

Listen, you have no balls.
Huh?

You have no balls.
Fuck off, you leecher. Are you senile or stupid? I can find you and sue you for insulting me. Why are you being so rude?

You can't sue me, I'm outside of Italy.
Fuck off. You can bugger off and shove a cock up your arse.

*hangs up*

So there you have it. I guess Italian men really don't like it when a pretty girl tells them that they don't have any balls.

Follow Nimrod on Twitter: @nnimrodd