Look Out!

Photo courtesy of the Michigan Militia

One of the main problems with paramilitary groups is they’re all a bit uptight and unapproachable and are almost always made up of intimidating men. How much more fun would Hamas or FARC be if their ranks included attractive girls in camouflage hot pants with huge guns? Well, the Michigan Militia thought the very same thing and created the “Militia Babes”. Enter the pretty face of the armed militias of America. “Weapon M” wouldn’t tell me how many members the group has, or his real name, on the grounds of operational security, but he did tell me about his wife’s miniskirt.

Vice: So, tell me what the Michigan Militia is all about. What are your aims and fears?

“Weapon M”:

We believe a well-armed citizenry is the best form of homeland security. It can deter crime, invasion, terrorism, and tyranny.

Who can join?

Everyone is welcome, regardless of race, creed, colour, religion or political affiliation, provided you do not wish to bring harm to our country or people. If you are a United States citizen and you are capable of bearing arms, or support the right to do so, then you are the militia.

What kind of training do you offer your members?

Marksmanship, basic tactics, first aid, navigation, and outdoor survival. Snow Dog weekend is our annual winter survival training.

Oh, really? What stylish gear can one wear to survive in the snow?

Military surplus is always a good choice, and anything in wool. Polypropylene undergarments are a big help, too. Avoid cotton fabrics in cold weather. Also, make sure your winter camo is not pure white, otherwise you will look like a ghost.

OK, let’s get down to it: who are these babes with the machine guns and skimpy shorts?

They are volunteer models. They are aware of our goals and aims. Mostly they are friends or co-workers of militia members. A few have come to training events. One was instrumental in starting the web page and the calendar.

Are the guns real? Some of them are pretty huge.

They are all indeed very, very real. In some cases, they are the model’s own, but mostly they are ours.

Are the clothes army surplus or do you guys specially make and alter them for shoots?

Both. We have altered them on the fly before, and have had t-shirts made for the models. The calendars sell very well. Most people view the militia as grim-faced prophets of doom and gloom, and the calendars are our way of showing that we are capable of having fun.

What do you think of military looks in fashion in general?

I love seeing the camouflage look on civilians. My wife has a few camo pants, shorts, and a really hot camo skirt that I love seeing her in. I really don’t mind if she leaves it on, if you get my drift.

I do. How important are these girls when it comes to spreading the word of the Michigan Militia?

It really tears down the view that many have that we are religious extremists, or crotchety old men. It shows that we have interests besides guns. It shows that living your life in a manner consistent with the ideas of free expression can be fun.

BRUNO BAYLEY

For more, go to michiganmilitia.com