This story is over 5 years old.

My Hair Heroine

Good music, better hair.
Κείμενο Conrad 'Cronos' Lant

Photo of Cronos and fan: Greg Anderson | Sent from: London, UK

When I first formed Venom I tended to use natural Henna to dye my hair but these days I use anything I can get my hands on. Whatever the brand, I usually go for the deep red tone. I think it suits me. I’m telling you this because one of the reasons I started to dye my hair was that my schoolboy fantasy was Kate Bush and she had lovely red hair. Kate doesn’t know this but I’ve actually duped her into signing an autograph a couple of times at signing sessions. She signed me albums “To Cronos lots of Love Kate Bush” and I even got a kiss off her! Actually I’ve kissed her a few times! I think she’d be horrified to know that the bloke she was kissing was the fella who invented black metal! Maybe she’d be fine with it though—I don’t know really. Who cares anyway! When people tell me they like Tori Amos I say ‘FUCK OFF it’s all about Kate!” Actually I do like Tori Amos but I didn’t like the fact that she was so much like Kate Bush. I also like Anastasia and Christina Aguilera. I love girls like that. In fact, when I first saw Anastasia I thought: “Right on bitch! That’s a fucking hell of a voice!” I also think that Beyonce is nailing everything. It’s pop, but it’s still so much better than this Gareth fucking nightmare Gates shite. When I saw Destiny’s Child live, they were doing what they do naturally and nailing it. You cannae beat a live act! Madonna was definitely good as well mate. Well good. Most of the male-oriented music sends me mad, but the girl singers helps to soothe the savage beast. When I’m in a rage, I put on the Alanis Morrisette. I listen to it daily. I’m a very physical type of person so when I wind down I don’t need a load of drugs, I just need a glass of whiskey and an Alanis album and that’s me chilled out. But mainly I like Kate Bush because she’s very soft talking and she’s got huge tits. CONRAD ‘CRONOS’ LANT
Along with heroes like Lee Dorrian, Wino, Tom G Warrior, Lemmy and Jack Black, Cronos is now part of Dave Grohl’s metal supergroup Probot. Out on Southern Lord.