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There Are Many Sufjan Stevens Covers on Youtube, and These Are the Worst

If you suspect that you may be musically mortifying in some way, maybe don't make a habit of making frequent Sufjan Stevens cover vids on Youtube.
Beca Grimm
Κείμενο Beca Grimm
13 Αύγουστος 2012, 8:10pm

The first time I heard Sufjan Stevens I was 17 and sitting in my friend's car. She put on "John Wayne Gacy Jr." and I felt creeped out, accordingly. I later dove in hard on Illinoise, and older albums, falling in love, also accordingly. I actually heard a rumor recently about Sufjan's frequent attendance at an Episcopalian church in Prospect Heights and have since very much considered stalking it out. So I get folks' hard obsession with the guy. However, there's some god-awful tributes a la YouTube covers that I find issue in forgiving. Here's five of the worst the Interwebs offers.

Is someone holding something shiny just to the right behind the camera? I get that high school is hard, bb, but framing doesn't have to be. Let's see the rest of that head keeping the horrible slouch beanie fixed. Leave this to the newer generation (see below).

In case you wondered what that guy from high school who learned "Brown Eyed Girl" deliberately to open up his getting laid potential from his past standby ("Your Body Is A Wonderland") is up to now. Also, that's the same guitar from those glory days, give or take a few paint-penned lyrics. Jack Johnson's calling. Even he is uncomfortably shifting in his hammock.

Bro looks as nauseated as his fedora makes me. And also a little bit like this guy I knew in Florida who once sent me an unsolicited seven paragraph Facebook message on what being a hipster means to him.

How am I supposed to reach the double-fermented spirulina kombucha quinoa salad with this tie dye disaster in the way? The guy doesn't have a bad voice, it's just a bummer that everything else about this song, and store, is abominable. These horns. THESE HORNS.

Here's a guy. In the woods. With his uke. And… I think now I'll hand the mic to eloquent YouTube user prezidentpratt: "You ruined this song for me, with your weird retard singing. Don't ever attempt anything by Sufjan again. It's way out of your league."

Sometimes home school is a cool idea.  (To be completely honest, this one is amazing).

Why not.