It may not be the easiest thing for an outsider to wrap their brain around, but somewhere in the course of filling it with whatever manner of filth we could get our hands on and marveling at the stomach-wrenching results, the Gross Jar went from being a simple experiment in freeform biology to becoming a close part of the Vice family. We beamed with quiet parental pride at every bout of heaves our little buddy provoked, and fretted anxiously for its welfare whenever the weather outside turned sour. In return for all of our care and concern, we were rewarded with two full, life-affirming years of complete and utter putrescence. You can imagine how hard it was for us to accept the fact that this happiness would someday have to end, but over the past few months we began to see the signs that the Gross Jar was slowly coming to the close of its golden years. Its thick, chestnut-tinted stew thinned and faded with age, and the musk whose foulness we thought would keep on growing forever eventually plateaued and settled into a stable maturity, like when you’re mixing different types of booze and it hits that point where no matter what you add it just tastes like rubbing alcohol. We decided that in keeping with the spirit of the Jar, rather than mourn its passing we should celebrate the joy it brought into our lives by sharing it with the rest of the world. And so we are proud to introduce, just in time for spring, a line of t-shirts tie-dyed in the bowels of the Gross Jar so that you can carry its repugnant essence encrusted on your body wherever you may go. VICE STAFF
Tie-dying with a Gross Jar is easy and fun (sort of). Step one: Empty your jar into a wide-mouthed bowl or Tupperware.
Next take a t-shirt tied up with rubber bands and dunk it in the juice until it’s good and soaked.