Speed Dating Experiment

As it is, the world of dating is like a white-knuckle game of Russian roulette that transforms your life into over-thinking, second-guessing, and sometimes coming out on top. We wanted to find out why people would ever willingly throw themselves into a situation where the intensity and chaos of dating is amplified with time limits and forced interactions. We sent one of our writers, Vaughn Chipman, for a night of speed dating twenty-five complete strangers for three minutes each. All in hopes of finding out why anyone would go to events like this and actually think they could pick up a soulmate.

I'd heard about speed dating before, but being the type of guy who'd rather slam his junk in a car door than approach someone at a bar, I never actually considered giving it a try. That's why I was hesitant to take part in a rapid-fire speed dating session with a bunch of strangers and no wingmen to cover up my constant blunders with ladies. Leading up to that night, I couldn't help but think that it was going to be as enjoyable as dry docking my first girlfriend behind the bleachers at the high school dance, that is to say, painful and embarassing. All I could see were images of male and female Quasimodos, all stuck in a room together, desperately trying to drag a companion back to their lairs.

When I walked in I couldn't help but notice that the place wasn't a seedy banquet hall but a classy lounge type spot. When I was told that the party would start in thirty minutes I made a bee line for the bar and tried to focus on how not to be a neurotic mess. The first girl I met managed to give me hope for the evening. She was a looker and beyond that I could totally see myself sleeping with her and not hating myself or her after. But right when I started to wonder what I'd been worried about, the bell rang, the date ended, and the frantic shitstorm blew back in. I tried to make idle conversation with my next date, a short girl, by saying, "that was the shortest walk yet," but I think she heard "You're the shortest one yet!", as her first words to me were "well, how f*****' tall are you?!"

The whole thing quickly turned into a fast-paced blur of names, faces, and desperate attempts to make generic comments like "uh… cool," after not hearing anything your date had been saying the entire time. While you won't get to know everything about them in three minutes, you will get a feeling for who you like and who you don't—those three minutes are enough to weed out the cat ladies and psychos.

A few days after it was over, the organizers emailed me the results of my dates. Apparently seven people checked my name off for a second date which basically means I'm batting .1428. The experience wasn't the painful nightmare I'd imagined, but instead actually managed to give me a confidence boost, as well as some insight into the celebration of chaos that comes along with quickly parading potential dates around a room for an hour and a half. Not the worst way to spend a Thursday evening and fifty bucks.

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