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Beats And Rhymes

All these people have it made.
Κείμενο Fritz The Cat

Aesop Rock

Too $hort has it made. The guy has like four hundred gold and platinum albums and is only 29 years old. He gets more bitches than your top five rappers combined, and probably has a house in every city in the US. Somebody just got the bright idea to make a documentary about his life, which I would totally watch if I wasn’t in one of those ghetto situations where I have a DVD player and no television. Check it out: Kid Koala’s got it made. He’s a cute little Asian dude with a sense of humor and bad-ass DJ skills. All kinds of girls must love him, but he’s probably got some girl-next-door girlfriend he’s been going out with since he was five that he’ll never cheat on. His record collection probably puts mine to shame, and—fuck—he can draw, too. He just put out another stupidly good record with another stupidly good comic book thingy. Aesop Rock has it made. He put out a bunch of underground CDs that all you net-heads memorized all over the place, then got down with Def Jux when they were first starting out, so now he probably gets money and bitches, too. His new album is even better than it’s supposed to be. It’s called Bazooka Tooth, but you knew that already, didn’t you smartypants? The Last Emperor has it made. He did that whole “independent buzz” thing back when that could get you a record deal (just ask Defari, or Planet Asia), and it did. So he got signed to Aftermath and dropped, or let go, a couple years later. That’s what I’d do if I got a record deal. Take the advance, buy a house, then make a shitty album and get dropped. You still have your street cred, you can still make music and tour. Nothing’s changed, except now you own a house. I wish I’d thought of that. Styles of Beyond have it made. They pulled some magic shit out of their hats with the whole “break up” thing, just making heads fiend for the new shit, and now you’re all over it. Pretty smart, eh? Well, you know how the old saying goes: Don’t hate the players, hate the game. And buy their album. It’s the best one out this month. The Oddities have it made. They’re like a boy band but they don’t suck—part thug, part nerd, part freestyler, part mack, part pretty boy, part graffiti. It’s like how big companies put together fake “real” punk bands and shit, if you wanted to manufacture a fake “real” rap group, this is what you’d come up with, but they came up with it on their own, and it’s dope as fuck. They have a cool-ass manager, too. Here’s a list of other people who have it made, and the thing’s they’ve recently made: themselves: the no music of aiff’s (, Various: Block Radius (, Six Feet Deep: Chico Rap Shit (, Listener: Whispermoon (, Modern Sleeping: Positions & Practices for Better Living (, Dark Circle: Civilians (, The Prunes: Red Moon (, Babbletron: Mechanical Royalty (, Vishuss: Battle Rhyme (Oblivion), Rasco: Escape From Alcatraz (, Joe Good & Miles Bonny: SoundsGood (, Backwoodz Studioz: Camouflage, 8.Bliss: A Train of Events (, Impervious: Machine Gun Raps (indie), The Strange Fruit Project: “All The Way” (, Nicknack: “Mustard Seed” (, Belles in Monica: “Smoke Filled Rooms” (, Show Me The Money: “Ride Out” (861 Productions). FRITZ THA CAT

Top Nine (in no particular order)

1. Styles of Beyond Megadef (Spytech) 2. Oddities The Scenic Route (Battleaxe) 3. Aesop Rock Bazooka Tooth (Definitive Jux) 4. Too $hort Life Is… DVD (Grass Roots) 5. Kid Koala Some of My Best Friends Are DJs (Ninja Tune) 6. Dark Circle Civilians (Jazz Fudge) 7. The Last Emperor Music, Magic, Myth (Raptivism) 8. Sunspot Jonz Don’t Let ’Em Stop You (Battleaxe) 9. The Prunes Red Moon (Jazz Fudge)