David Roth
David Roth is a former VICE Sports staff writer.
Adopting October
Who do you root for if you don't have a team in the postseason? While there are no wrong answers to this question (except for "the Yankees"), if you're not cheering for the Oakland Athletics, you're probably a jerk.
The Jets Are America's Team
The Cowboys aren't America's Team, though they're called that. The Jets, mediocre and unprepared like us, get that honor. That the team's owner wants a Mitt Romney win more than a Super Bowl is sad icing on the despair cake.
Picking at Scabs
The scab refs look, in short, like scabs—unqualified people hired to do a job they don't really know how to do at the behest of a management group which doesn't especially value that job, or at least less so than they value the chump change saved by...
Welcome to College Football
College football is, in many ways, less a sport than a bumpy mass of public discourse and stomach-aches and public spending and almost religion. The talent and competition is not as consistent as the NFL, but there are moments of awesome, or at least...
Unlimited Juice
The last week or so has been a bad one for athletes who take drugs. These are not the rare and random wild-card athletes who get nailed for "drugs of abuse," these are athletes who, for reasons that usually come down to making more money playing sports...
Fs All Around
If the internet were a person, that person would be unbearable. He—and it would be a he—would, for one thing, be masturbating furiously, constantly. He would give you fake car-insurance rates, and, if you happened to meet him in the last two weeks, he...
The Olympics Are Weird
The Olympics are an expensive, relentlessly over-branded jarring event choreographed by idiots. They're also weird and awesome.
The Worst Idea in Sports
Most television networks would not take time out of their own broadcasting schedules to air formal-dress jerk-off awards, for obvious reasons. But if the network in question was an all-sports network trying to figure out what to do with a weekday night...
To Live and Ugh in LA
If Steve Nash could spend nearly a decade in the psychotic sun-baked methscape of Phoenix, he surely can do it with a clean conscience in a city that's actually pretty nice.
Welcome to the NBA Draft
The NBA Draft is here, and with it an opportunity to project upon a host of gangly young giants the irrational aspirations of a nation of basketball fans.
Taking the Heat
The Heat are now the best team in the NBA, but that doesn't mitigate the fact that, even by the usual standards for the NBA's sour and over-determined dynasty aspirants, these guys are kind of dickish.
Welcome to the NBA Finals
Who will be the champions of The Year the Season Started at Christmas Because the Buttsteak Owner of the Suns Wanted to Prove Some Dim Point About Unions or Whatever?