Advice
James Stockbauer's SXSW 2013 Survival Tips
SXSW is a gauntlet of booze, bands, and BBQ. When we first started going to it years ago, we were assigned mentors to help us avoid the typical rookie pitfalls. One of these Austin lodestars was Lyndon James Stockbauer, owner of the venerable East...
Guys, It's Time to Stop Shaving Your Junk
There is nothing more disappointing than taking a new guy home for the first time and ripping his clothes off, only to find that he has "manscaped" himself to look like some sort of dude-shaped topiary.
Dudes: Avoid These Common Fingerbanging Mistakes
Just because you’ve got a finger in one hole doesn’t mean you’re welcome to put one in the other. It might surprise you, but anal fingering isn’t every woman’s preference. And even if it’s her preference one day, it might not be the next. Ask before...
How to Keep It Chillin' When Visitin' a Piece-of-Garbage Pal in the Hospital
Crazy Cooter had a stroke after rockin' solo carnal passions in my john. Went to visit him with my roomie Dave the next day and brought Hot ’n Ready’s, Triscuits & mayo, and cold ones. The works, really. Full spread. Friendship's important, so here are...
Hey Ron! Should I Marry a Manslut?
I fell in love with a guy three years back when I saw a shirtless pic of him on my girl’s phone. Since then, he's had his way with most of my girlfriends. But none of them understand him like I do. Am I making a mistake trying to turn this man into a...
Escort Services and Sushi Dicks
Here is the first installment of Mish Way's new advice column. To get us started, Mish takes a close look at the ups and downs of selling your body, as well as the possible health benefits of spreading wasabi on a ball sack.
How Your Girl Likes to Cum and What It Says About Her
Say your brain and your vag, in a rare and merciful moment, decide to come together and shake hands, take heed. All you boys out there can learn a thing or two about your girl from her throbbing lady bits, just as she can from your ejaculatory habits...
My Abortion Story
I explored the topic from every possible angle with almost every person I came in contact with. Keep the baby; don’t keep the baby; give the baby up for adoption; give the baby to a close friend; give the baby to a gay couple; keep the baby; don’t keep...
The Recent Unpleasantness - Ask Mr. Ethics
Dear Mr. Ethics, I am a healthy 42-year-old Minnesota guy with a fantastic family and a well-paying government job. Also, I recently became the presumptive Republican nominee for vice president of the United States in the 2012 election. Life is good...
Girls and Fashion
Almost everything I own, clothes-and-shoes-and-etc-wise, is boxed up and in storage in another country. This is because I went full-retard this year and don’t live anywhere, like, indefinitely, because, I don’t know why. I’ve been wearing the same...
Hey Ron! - What's the Fourth of July About?
Watching your family grill under the influence and seeing criminal-provided fireworks.
The VICE Guide to Dating Rich Girls
As long as you realize she only keeps you around to annoy her parents, it's gonna be fun.