Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll
I Can't Fuck You All, Barbiturates, and Jay Arner
People mistake my sexual nature for a desire to have sex with them, or more accurately, somehow mistake my sexual openness with an expectation that I'll have sex with them. Not everyone of course. But the other day, someone was trying to fuck me whom I...
The Lipstick Vibrator, Crossing the Line, and Big Deal
I was ready to toss this vibrator under the abyss of my bed never to be seen again, until I realized the usefulness of such a covert vibe! Sometimes you have to masturbate in inappropriate places. I know boys secretly jerk it all the time at work, but...
Fake Vaginas, Ways to Take Heroin, and 1939 Ensemble
I hate to let you guys down, but I've never tried heroin. Unlike with sex toys, when it comes to drugs I can't exactly email a dealer and be like, “Yo! I'm writing about H this week, want to send me some free samples?” This is for the best because from...
Medical Fetishism, Benzo Withdrawal, and the Swedish Avant-Garde
The more people I get to know (and I don't just mean that in the biblical sense), the more I learn that everyone is a pervert. Wave your freak flag high kids, we're all sexual deviants! If your porn search terms wouldn't give your grandmother a heart...
Nipples, Robo-Tripping, and Raleigh Moncrief
In this edition of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll, Sophie talks about the benefits of nipple abuse, how buying things sold at the grocery store to get high is lame, and how she'd call Raleigh Moncrief "Big Pappa" after farting in front of him.
Not Sleeping with One-Night Stands, Rum, and Gay Reggae
In this edition of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll, Sophie goes over the awkwardness of sleeping with a one-night stand, and how it would be nice to have REAL gay-friendly reggae.
Loads, Coffee, and Younolovebunny
In this edition of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'n' Roll, Sophie goes over goo pride, how no one should care if coffee is bad for you or not, and sexy music.
Fishy Crotch, LSD, and Rare Times
In this edition of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll, Sophie explains that vaginas are SUPPOSED to smell like fish, and that LSD should only be taken with people who don't suck.
Vagina Eating, Ambien, and Renny Wilson
In this installment of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll, Sophie talks up the benefits of eating vagina when you have a vagina, and shares her first Ambien experience.
Handjobs, Natural Stress Solutions, and Dumbo Gets Mad
In this installment of Sex, Drugs, and Rock 'N' Roll, Sophie reminds us all of the kindness behind the sympathy handjob, and goes over some natural stress remedies that aren't pot.
Knife Play, DMT, and The Trail of Dead
The trick is to embrace your darkness rather than try and snuff it, or else it might bubble up and you'll find yourself etching the word "ALONE" into your thigh with a kitchen knife at 3AM after too much absinthe.
Dildos, Benzos, and Astral Folk Pop
I've seen the Eiffel Tower at night, and I tell you, it's not as beautiful as a tattooed Asian chick wielding a giant dildo.