Cry-Baby of the Week

Cry-Baby #1: Driver Elementary School

Boy who held pencil like gun suspended

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The incident: A little boy pointed a pencil at someone and made a gun noise.

The appropriate response: Saying "Argh! You got me!" then falling to the ground as though you've just been shot with an actual gun. Then getting up and laughing. Or, if you're not good with kids, you could just like, do nothing.

The actual response: The boy was suspended from school.

Seven-year-old Christopher Marshall was in class at Driver Elementary School in Suffolk, Virginia, last Friday, when a teacher found him and another boy pointing pencils at each other and making machine-gun noises.

Despite the fact that Christopher stopped doing it as soon as the teacher asked him to, he and the other boy were suspended from school for two days.

"When I asked him about it, he said, 'Well I was being a marine and the other guy was being a bad guy,'" said Paul Marshall, Christopher's dad. Adding that he felt the school "overreacted."

Amazingly, Bethanne Bradshaw, a spokesperson for Suffolk Public Schools agreed to be interviewed by a local news channel, where she defended the suspension saying, "Some children would consider it threatening, who are scared about shootings in schools or shootings in the community." She added, "Kids don't think about cowboys and Indians anymore. They think about drive-by shootings and murders and everything they see on television news every day." Which is a pretty fucking bleak way of looking at the world.

Cry-Baby #2: Crisalida Berry Farms

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The incident: Some farm workers fled a wildfire that was burning near the farm they were working on.

The appropriate response: Nothing.

The actual response: They were all fired

The 15 strawberry pickers were working at Crisalida Berry Farms near Oxnard, California, last week, when smoke and ash from a nearby wildfire began to make it "hard to breath."

Fearing for their safety, they left the farm, despite being warned by their foreman that they would be fired if they did so.

When they returned to work the next day, the foreman followed up on his threat and let them all go.

The workers contacted a local union who agreed to help them, despite the fact that none of the workers were union members.

After speaking with farm management (and giving the story to local news outlets), the union leaders were able to get the farm to offer the workers their jobs back, but by that time all but one of them had found alternative employment.

Which of these fools is a bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this little poll down here:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: The woman who hates Anne Frank's vagina versus the airline that hates Tourette's.

Winner: Anne Frank lady!!!

@JLCT