This Week in Florida

A Violent Stripper, a Crazy Naked Man, and 4,000 Pounds of Cocaine

Police responded to a call about a naked man on a Tarpon Springs golf course. But when they got there, the golf course was bare, too. The naked man attacked a 7-Eleven clerk and led cops on a car chase before being apprehended. Full story

This Week in Florida

Titty Twisters and Striptease Turkeys

Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees. Full story

This Week in Florida

Square Groupers and Manatee Orgies

It was a big week for Florida, with voter fraud, donkey fucking, 15-pound bricks of weed, and marine scientists pleading with Floridians to stop interrupting manatee orgies. Tempting though it may be. Full story

This Week in Florida - Citrus Herpes, Pill Doctor Sex Parties, and Some Good News for Once

In 2000, in a supposed effort to curb the spread of a fruit-blemishing disease called canker, the Department of Agriculture sent Citrus Stormtroopers to bully their way into citizens’ yards and cut down their citrus trees regardless of whether or not they were infected. More than… Full story

Griselda Blanco: So Long and Thanks for All the Cocaine

Griselda Blanco was killed outside a butcher shop in Colombia yesterday when two men on a motorcycle put two bullets into her head. Despite the location, this was unlikely a beef about beef (zing!), and probably had more to do with the scores of people she ruthlessly murdered thr… Full story

This Week In Florida - Beware the Man with a Tanning Bed in His Barn

His operation is probably not on the level. Full story

This Week in Florida - More Zombies and Molesting the TSA

People in Florida are still eating each other. They're also feeling up TSA agents now. Full story