HERE IT IS, YOUR TWO-WEEKS-LATE ART BASEL WRAP-UP

Sorry for the d-lay. I am currently coughing the last remnants of party phlegm out of my lungs from

my brief trip to Miami

. You could say I had a good time down there. You could say many things. Mind you, the parties have always overshadowed the art, but this year it really felt like folks cared way more about just hanging out than they did about the art.

That's either because 2009 has legally "sucked balls" for most art-world people and they've totally worn themselves out just trying to stay afloat, OR because not as many younger struggling-artist types can afford to go to Miami, so the demographic is shifting in favor of the music, fashion, and media types who generally didn't give too much of a fuck to begin with. Anyhoozle, if Art Basel Miami is supposed to be a cultural barometer for the state of art, the art world, and the art market, I'd say that at least the art world is still alive, the art market is still kicking even if it isn't what it used to be (for better or for worse), and the art is as lackluster as ever. There was a noticeable cutback in the way the art was made and shown. There were fewer excesses and a lot of art seemed to be focused more on what could be made with cheap materials or out of pure talent and time, such as drawings that cost nothing but takes months to make. It's not quite Arte Povera but at least something interesting is going on, even if most of the people enjoying it would rather be swimming on a beach in December. Here's a few details I discovered that may differ from what I wrote in my previous Basel post: -Aqua is no longer at the cute hotel on the beach. It's now its own fair in the Design District and thus now has no actual connection to the name Aqua though it continues to use that name (maddeningly). -Pulse is now where NADA used to be at the Ice Palace, and has fewer hammocks outside than NADA used to have (a point one could find trivial but I find extremely crucial as it applies to the praxis of maximum outdoor relaxation and "getting tropical"). -"Pop Life" is no longer at the White Room it's now at a place called the "Electric Pickle." I mean seriously… seriooouuusssllyyy?? -The burger joint in Lil Havana is called El Rey's Papas Fritas. It's on Calle Ocho and it makes me sweat nervously just thinking about it. Oh god, it's so good. I also prognosticated a few trends that I was sure I'd run across again. I saw almost all of them, but not quite in the quantities I'd predicted. I'm not sure which part of that makes me happier. Here's a few selections:

-neon

-triangles

-complex geometric pattern made out of crude material

-neon triangles and complex geometric pattern

-Obama + neon + Buddha with solar panels??? -swastika + Dash Snow (I really should have predicted Dash references)

-vagina

-a "profound" sign (still counts even though it's not neon). Finally, here are a few moments that stood out above and beyond everything else: -Gang Gang Dance at the Fake Max Fish. The energy and weirdness that they convey is just unparalleled right now (specifically Lizzie, who I liken to a sexy Greek witch stirring a bubbling, black cauldron of vibe brew). They're good on album, but their live set just throws me into a Caribbean sex trance like Chenault in

The Rum Diary

. -Jacuzzi Boys at the Fake Max Fish. I think I saw some crutches crowd surfing at one point. Also, Iggy Pop says they're his favorite new band. -The babes, particularly at the

STAGES

party

on Thursday night. (There's two links there, make sure you click them both.)

-The Julia Chang installation at O.H.W.O.W. The ring pops looked amazing, the colored sugar that had dripped down the wall and collected in puddles at the floor was tactile and strangely lickable, and the overbearing smell of CANDY was nostalgic and nauseating in the best way.

-The Cafe con Leche at David's on 10th, Anything and everything at Versailles, The fat square slices at Pizza Rustica, and the greatest soda in the entire world, Materva. (photo)

-A neon sign that reads "BLESS YOU TACO BELL" by

Michael Phelan

. I was roaming around looking for profound neon when this brilliant message appeared over my head and I thought "Now that's some profundity I can get down with!"

-The pairing of

Ann Woo & Joy Drury Cox

at the Humble Arts Foundation booth at NADA. One wall was Cox's drawn outlines of

death certificates

sorry: JOB APPLICATIONS, the opposing wall was Woo's small awkward portraits with portraits of flowers. The wall that joined them was Woo's color gradations, which are strikingly beautiful in their simplicity. The two artists together created a dichotomy that was so reserved on information it became less mysterious and more sensual.

-Scott Campbell's ridiculously small, intricate drawings on the inside of eggs!

-Langdon Graves: the most detailed and beautiful drawings I've seen in a bit. I feel a significant drop in testosterone just looking at her work.

-Manny Prieres: Equally as detailed and intricate as Graves' work but with that added boost of testosterone so I don't have to worry about developing moobs. While I think these drawings could benefit from added details in the perimeters and some form of figure-ground relationship instead of a flat illustration, the kid in me can't resist the simplicity of patterned weaponry. The rest of this series, though, goes deeper into his Cuban heritage and relates the weapons and tools to his family's history of farming in a way that's very sincere and unlame.

-This is by Aramis Gutierrez. Ever been led through the woods by a neon orange Baphomet? Well then get ready to LIVE!

-Although Ben's photo post may have referenced Freegum's yin-yang poster as "gay" or something, I think it's awesome. No Pain! No Pain!

-This lovely chest of drawers with a ridiculous amount of knives stabbed into its back. It's a very basic idea that translated extremely well into a an intriguing physical object. Unfortunately I've lost who made it. Bummer.

JOHN MCSWAIN