Russell Chubb's Celebrity Mind Raid - Gregg Wallace

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There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure when I come home on a cold winter evening than the sight of a fat, succulent bird splayed out on my kitchen table. (That's not to say I'm a fan of coq au vin – that's always been more Michel Roux Jr's kind of thing, the fruity devil.) The mere thought of a piping hot lump of white (or brown) meat for me to devour is enough to send me into raptures. Sometimes it’s hard to stop myself taking a running jump onto the beast when I burst through the kitchen door. The legs are the part I like to go to work on first. I’ll scoop up a handful of butter and start massaging it in to make sure the meat is lovely and moist before I tuck in. This tends to make the gooey loveliness from the stuffing start to ooze out – and that really gets my juices going. Yes! Yes! OH YES! If the mood takes me, I'll wrap the thighs round my head and run around the room barking like a hungry Alsatian before howling like a wolf. Woof, woof, woof. Awoooooh!

After I’m done with the legs I like to move up to where the meat is most ample: the breast. It's as near perfect a thing to sink my old lips into as I can imagine. Some people like to slowly nibble away at the breast to appreciate its tenderness but I just put the whole thing in my mouth at once and slosh it about with my tongue. Phwooooh! So yummy – especially when smeared in chocolate sauce and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands. Naughty but very, very nice. A true delight.

As you've probably gathered, this big boy likes the sweeter things. I like to indulge. I always spray my hors d'oeuvres in whipped cream before I even think about putting them near my mouth. It can help to wash away any strong fishy flavour and cleanse the palette before tucking into something more refined. I've also got a real soft spot for tarts. They’re the kind of pudding I wouldn't marry but would love to take away for a dirty weekend in a hotel. Nothing beats the velvety goodness of a deep, deep chocolate tart. What a triumph. They're rich, they're sumptuous… I'd happily nuzzle my face in one and leave it there all day. Phwaahh-ha-ha!