We Watched World Cup Soccer at a Weed Dispensary in Vancouver

I can't remember if this is before or after he showed me his "tribal" and "psychedlic" drawings. All photos via the author.
Watching World Cup soccer at a marijuana dispensary is like meeting a Tinder date at a funeral home. It doesn’t make any damn sense, but the novelty makes it memorable.

“I’ve never really watched any sporting event, but I did make that logo,” says medicinal toker Daryl Brown. He points to a promo sticker on a bong case, which positions FIFA’s World Cup logo inside a gigantic weed leaf.

“I don’t like soccer, period,” someone chimes in behind me.

After scoring some national media attention by introducing Canada’s first weed vending machine last month, dispensary director Chuck Varabioff is already attempting a rebrand. He sent us an email hyping the BC Pain Society’s “non-alcoholic sports bar” makeover.

“Our location has been completely renovated and is now a non-alcohol sports bar where you can come enjoy your medicine on-site,” Varabioff wrote of the footy-friendly “medicine” dispensary. “We will be showing all televised games on our four large screens, including a 100-inch projection screen.”

Our last installment of vending machine news tested the original model, which has since been replaced with a larger wheelchair-friendly unit. The quadruple-sized weed machine still dispenses $50 half ounces to anyone with a BC Pain Society members’ card.

Life is full of important decisions—Master Kush or Diamond OG Kush?
On a soggy Saturday afternoon, I visited the alleged sports bar during a tough match between England and Italy. Pretty much nobody gave a shit about soccer, but the regulars were quick to praise the dispensary for repelling “roid monkeys” that frequent other hypothetical sports bars.

There is muted reaction when Mario Balotelli heads in a ridiculous goal. Brown’s medicated clowning garners more attention.

“How’s your poops?” he asks the woman sitting across from me. Half a dozen more smokers sit around the table, most of whom have their backs turned to the game. Some tell me they're treating knee problems, cancer or hernia surgery pain; one man is wearing a pirate hat. “If you don’t have good poops you have a shitty day,” Brown adds.

Because it’s inefficient, many of the regulars I meet frown upon joint smoking.

Dabbing seems to be the most popular THC delivery method, followed closely by homemade tinctures and edibles. I’m introduced to the “sublimator” on the table, which looks a lot like a bong with a semi-frightening soldering gun attachment.

Sports! Who gives a shit?
Commercial Drive was already known for Italian coffee and football viewing, but is now home to a surging number of weed dispensaries. Across the street from the six-month-old BC Pain Society is the long-standing Compassion Club. A few blocks north is the similarly-named BC Pain Management Society. Several more operate within a few blocks’ radius—apparently all of them competing to move away from the simple sit-and-smoke model and towards becoming legit entertainment venues.

On a Friday night, you can watch Brown and friends perform comedy by the vending machine, or hit up a prohibition-style jazz performance down the street. The mostly-teenaged Carlo Rossi Gang plays a darkened members-only dispensary every week, lit by decidedly non-medicinal lasers.

“I think it’s cool man, patients like it. They come here and feel good,” says drummer Aaron Levinson between sets at the BC Pain Management Society.

“It’s just like back in the day they had alcohol prohibition, and they marketed it as medicine,” adds standup bassist Noah Godfrit. “It’s the same thing today with reefer.”

I won’t attempt to guess what businesses owned and operated by medicinal pot smokers will come up with next, but you can bet it’ll be out in the open here in Vancouver. If you like acutely bizarre vibes with your World Cup viewing, head on over to 2908 Commercial for a slice of the action.  @sarahberms