Los Angeles County

First of all, we are NOT including the City of LA and its surrounding neighborhoods in this little magazine—one guide was more than enough, thanks. Instead, we're going to focus on the other, often overlooked cities in the county—you know, the ones that are big on rockabilly, Social D, bikes, and old-school tattoos.

BARS

Alex's Bar - Hot brown men with pompadours and creepers? Check. Hot brown girls with Bettie Page hair and full-sleeve tattoos? Check again. Go for Phil Shane, he of the legendary one-man band, and Mr. Mister Miyagi, the live karaoke band. If you're one of those people who freak out if someone sweaty you don't know touches you, don't go at all.

2913 E. Anaheim St., Long Beach, 562-434-8292.

Churrolandia Photo: Sean Kling

The Anarchy Library - This is like when your 13-year-old brother discovered the Dead Kennedys and started wearing 18-hole Docs. Then he taped a sign to his bedroom door that said, "The Anarchy Library." "What the fuck is this?" you asked him and he sneered, "It's ironic." Then he invited a bunch of fat chicks over and they all hung out and glared at you from the open door of his punk study hall. But when he turned 15, he figured out the Kennedys were overrated, got a sense of humor, and invited burlesque chicks over instead of fatties with attitudes.

13250 Woodruff Ave., Downey, 562-803-9134.

The Pike Bar & Fish Grill - We usually like to avoid places that have the words "Bar & Grill" in their names because they tend to be annoying jockheavy establishments that blare 14 different games from a myriad of TVs. But this place, owned by former Social D drummer Chris Reece, is not "that place." It's a fish shack that plays oldschool punk and serves solid burgers, solid fish and chips, and solid booze. Bring your iPod on Sundays for, um, iPod Sundays.

1836 E. 4th St., Long Beach, 562-437-4453.

The Academy Photo: Sean Kling

FOOD

Churrolandia - A churro is the most delicious piece of fried, tubular dough you will ever eat. Churrolandia serves delicious churros, as well as creepy little cakes with 99-cent-store dolls stuck in the middle and frosting piped around it like a skirt. Seriously?
7303 Greenleaf Ave., Whittier, 562-789- 5100. Tito's Market - This is some serious El Monte shit: half Latin American grocery, half deli. Everyone goes for the deli. The Milanese sandwich— breaded beef with chopped jalapeños and tomatoes—is absolutely insane. You can sit down and pig out, but it's probably better to take it home unless you want to feel like you're eating in the deli section of Ralph's.
9814 Garvey Ave., El Monte, 626-579-1893. OTHER SHIT The Academy - This store has got it all: art you can buy, good brands like Corpus and Cheap Monday, and deer. Lots of deer. They like to have good parties too.
433 E. 1st St., Long Beach, 562-901-3936. Hawleywood's Barbershop - Can I be honest? Your hair looks like shit. So does your beard. You don't want to go to a girl's shop and let Fernando give you a scalp massage? Then you've come to the right place! At Hawleywood's you can grab a pint of PBR and get a nice clean straightrazor shave, along with one of those high-and-tight haircuts, all done by someone who looks perfectly comfortable with both neck tattoos and a pair of scissors.
2234 4th St., Long Beach, 562-434-5405. LA County Fair - Once, we went here after a 24-hour coke binge. Bad idea. All the photo-booth shots made us look like lemurs, and we couldn't even enjoy the deep-fried frog legs and BBQ from the 18-wheeler pit. Then we saw the Doobie Brothers. In 90-degree heat. Then we went on the G Force and threw up, along with about half a dozen other people. The moral of this pathetic story? Don't go to the fair after you've been binging out for a couple of days unless you like to tie-dye your shirts with vomit.
1101 W. McKinley Ave., Pomona, 909-623-3111. Santa Fe Springs swap meet - What an amazing place! You can get stereo systems that don't come in boxes, Mexican candy, super-old Nintendo and Atari games, and Lucha Libre masks. There are super-sketchy carnival rides and the infamous street dogs and cover bands like Just Like Priest. It's a buck-fifty to get in on most days, and you'll find that you pretty much get what you pay for.
13963 Alondra Blvd., Santa Fe Springs, 562-921-4359. Spitfire Interiors - Spitfire is onestop shopping for kids still mourning Lux Interior. Pin-striped toilet seats, leopard everything (including toolboxes), American Greaser Supply out the ass, and cherries and roses all over the place. But the coolest thing is that they display and sell local artwork that doesn't come from the Beautiful Losers scene, and they're nurturing up-andcoming Camille Rose Garcias. Very awesome, 'cause if we see one more Thomas Campbell rip-off, we're going to take out our leopard-handled knife and stab it in the face.
12909 Philadelphia St., Whittier, 562-945-8970.