Everything You Need to Know About the 2017 Champions League Groups

So there we have it, ladies and gentlemen. The Champions League draw is over, UEFA's ageless technocrats have climbed back into their cryochambers, and another season of European football is about to begin. The biggest clubs in Europe have been allocated their opponents, while fans can now look forward to the excitement of watching Real Madrid, Barcelona, FC Rostov, and other such global behemoths compete on the grand stage.

Here's a rundown of the groups, including all the biggest ties and, inevitably, the occasional game featuring PFC Ludogorets Razgrad.

Group A

In the least alphabetically challenged of all the Champions League groups, we have Arsenal, Basel, Ludogorets, and Paris Saint-Germain. On its face, this draw could be a lot worse for Arsene Wenger's team—in theory, Arsenal should be able to beat all those sides and finish atop the group stage for the first time in what feels like a century. In reality, however, we all know that they'll drop points away to Basel and end up finishing second before immediately going out to Barcelona in the Round of 16.

With Arsenal almost certain to finish as runners-up, PSG are nailed on to top the group. While Basel and Ludogorets aren't bad sides, per se, neither of them has the quality to cause a major upset. Of the two teams, Basel seem most likely to nab a consolation Europa League spot. That leaves the champions of Bulgaria to prop up the group.

Group B

Group B should be a fairly open affair, featuring Napoli, Besiktas, Dynamo Kiev, and Benfica. While Napoli will be expected to top the group, it's really too tight to call. Besiktas are notoriously well organized, while Dynamo Kiev should be particularly feisty. Both of them have the advantage of absolutely terrifying home stadiums. Enjoy huddling in the far corner of a Soviet-era Ukrainian arena, away fans!

With Benfica similarly formidable on their day, nothing can be taken for granted in Group B. It's the "group of death" for middling sides that nobody else wants to play, basically. They are all tough prospects on the pitch, and offer traveling supporters the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of being hit in the back of the head with a flare.

Group C

Manchester City really don't have much luck when it comes to their European ties, do they? They've been drawn in the same group as Barcelona, who knocked them out of the competition in 2014, and then again a year later. Before that, they drew Juventus and Bayern Munich in the group stage for two seasons, so one suspects the bureaucrats over at UEFA aren't too fond of the Sky Blues. That's what you get for booing the Champions League anthem, you bloody ingrates.

Group C is completed by Borussia Monchengladbach and Celtic, neither of whom are pushovers. While the Scottish champions are the weakest team in the group, Celtic Park is a death trap on European nights and has claimed plenty of scalps before. In 2012, Celtic even managed to beat Barcelona in Glasgow, recording one of the most famous victories in their history on home turf. Can they do it again this season? Probability, rationality, and common sense suggest not.

Group D

Of all the groups, Group D boasts perhaps the most significant gulf in quality: Bayern Munich and Atletico Madrid are two of the most intimidating sides in Europe, while PSV Eindhoven and FC Rostov are, in a relative sense, a bit shit. That said, Rostov beat Ajax 4-1 on aggregate in the Champions League qualifier, so they've shown they're capable of defying the odds.

Unfortunately, in Group D, "defying the odds" means finishing third behind Bayern and Atletico. Good luck to Rostov and Eindhoven, anyway, and let's hope they still enjoy playing football after the appalling thrashings they receive at the Allianz Arena.

Group E

An ugly draw for VICE Sports editor-in-chief Jorge Arangure, whose beloved Spurs will take on Bayer Leverkusen and VICE Sports Hero Chicharito Hernandez. However that tie plays out, Tottenham and Leverkusen should make it through. Nothing, of course, is guaranteed—CSKA Moscow and Monaco are both capable of a surprise or two.

CSKA's best finish in the Champions League came in 2010, when it reached the semifinals. Monaco meanwhile last met Leverkusen in the 2015 Group Stage. The two teams went 1-1 that year, but Monaco finished first in the group. Leverkusen finished second.

Group F

Group F sees defending champion Real Madrid take on German runner-up Borussia Dortmund. Dortmund didn't qualify for last season's tournament, after a disastrous 2015 Bundesliga season. Since then, however, the club has gone from strength to strength and could very well upset Madrid. The teams last met in the semifinals of the 2014 Champions League, a tie Madrid won 3-2 on aggregate. Dortmund and Madrid are the overwhelming favorites to go through this year. Sporting and Poland's Legia will do well to get a point off either of the group's big two.

Group G

Surprise Premier League champion Leicester City has been handed a very friendly draw. The Foxes' toughest match will be away to two-time Champions League winners Porto, who hasn't made it out of the group stage in the past three seasons. The two teams should take first and second with ease, but Claudio Ranieri will know better than anybody that you shouldn't take so-called "minnows" for granted. Belgium's Club Brugge and Denmark's Copenhagen will be looking to upset their more illustrious groupmates.

Group H

Juventus, winner of the past five Serie A titles, have been presented with what should be a cakewalk for the 2015 Champions League runner up. Sevilla, winner of last season's UEFA Cup, could push the Italians, and Lyon could cause a surprise or two, but neither are likely to win the group over the Italians. Rounding out the group, Croatia's Dinamo Zagreb will almost surely finish in fourth.

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