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Romanian Prisoners Play Bitch Slap Tennis

I'm sure violence has been a popular pursuit in Romanian prisons for some time, but beating people with snooker balls in socks can get dull after a couple of generations. So, the inventive detainees of prisons across the nation have devised a new vicious sport: a demented version of slaps. Like all great games, it's not complex; you just stand in a circle slapping one-another until there's only one depressed lunatic left standing. Romanian tabloids are full of this stuff at the moment. There’s even one website which claims this game is such a hit that a prison commandant went to a party dressed as an inmate, handcuffed and flanked by two guards.

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It's a good life for a Romanian convict right now. Other things they've been getting up to recently include having their phones seized by guards after using them to put DIY prison porn on the internet, and making booze by fermenting their own food, clothes and shit. Happy days.

ŞTEFAN IANCU