BY NIQUE NEEDLES JR., PHOTOS BY SAMUEL F. THORNEGot to fang out with all me mates today at the pub crawl. Falmin Galahs. Fuckin’ happy as pigs in mud. Oi… Mike and Garry the cunts were well maggott’d and on about their new band they shoulda asked me to be in. No time anyway. Got on for young and old with the missus, turfed on me arse, and been short as hell on coin. Now I’m living in a squat with no idiot box but fuck it. After six pints I didn’t care about nothin’ anyway. Viv’s band Rancid Hands gigged the Rochester and fuckin’ nailed it. They played “Stupid Dickhead” and “You Got a Buck?” and we chucked beer and food at ’em. Then I spewed up guts half on Elizabeth St. half on Fred. Fucking brilliant I reck’n coz then I was free to get full as a Goog when Noleen tossed me arse on a tram to the city. Mate, the commuters had a shit! Off the tram, one of the fellas didn’t chuck his pint and the coppers saw. Fuckin’ best Punk Pub Crawl in history ’cept for these rough-as-guts pigs who went hammer-and-tongs bananas. Straight in me fucking mug with that capsicum shit! Hurt more’n gettin’ a rod shoved up the dick. Stan, Nick, and Dave got into a barney and hauled off to fair dinks but I shut my gob coz I don’t need any more fuckin’ trouble.
