When HBO announced that they would be screening a self directed Beyonce documentary, which would aim to give an intimate insight into a superstar who has otherwise been very private, I wanted the answers to several questions. Who is Beyonce? Is she human? Does Beyonce ever take a massive dump on the toilet? Does she spew up the remains of alphabetti spaghetti after a night on the vod? Does she check her Twitter friend or follow ratio and then crush herself inside? Sometimes, does she pick out little balls of fluff from her belly button and cast them carefree into the realm of reality? OR, as the media leads us to suspect, is she a a virgin angel of sass, who, despite shaking her ass and provocatively dancing in the skimpiest of outfits, represents the strong, yet innocent embodiment of the perfect female role model in the 21st century?Since HBO doesn’t like the UK I had to watch the whole thing through a 360px quality YouTube video. The assortment of pixels reminded me of better days spent watching videos on my Sony Ericsson of kids happy-slapping each other, so I was in high spirits.As the YouTube video buffered, I got ready to wiggle my finger like I wanted my cheating ex-girlfriend to come and put a ring on it. In order to fully prepare myself for the Beyonce experience, I cooked up a really healthy dinner.Read the rest on Noisey
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