Gen Z Are So Lonely They're Posting Friendship Applications on Facebook

In a hyperconnected world where there’s potential to connect with everyone, many people feel like they aren’t connecting with anyone at all. But something rather cute is happening on, arguably, the most boring social media platform of all: Facebook. Enter, the “friendship application”, a new genre of posting that is putting a spin on the lonely hearts columns of old.

The posts are mostly found on women-only Facebook community groups, where Gen Z girls are in search of new BFFs. The person posting basically advertises herself as a potential friend by discussing likes, interests and hobbies. Each post takes a different approach, with users discussing everything from going to gigs or being really into coffee, to their political leanings or tendency to attend a pottery class.

But two common threads usually run through them all: a desire to find other women and non-binary people with similar interests, and a determination to banish loneliness from their lives.

According to ONS data, those aged 16-29 are two times as likely to report feeling lonely often or always, compared with those over the age of 70. This is perhaps surprising, given that a recent survey by YPulse reported that 55 percent of young people value friendship above romantic relationships. Yet, despite this, Gen Z in particular are living up to their reputation for being the loneliest generation.

That’s what pushed Ellie, 20 – who is using a fake name for privacy reasons – to make her friendship application on Facebook. "I made it because of difficult living situations in my first and current year of uni," she tells VICE. "It’s hard living with people that you don’t get on with and because of that I have struggled to make many close friends… My friends at home have kind of disappeared too, so I’m feeling a little bit isolated at the moment and would love the chance to meet new people that are more suited to me.”

Why have Gen Z women chosen Facebook specifically? After all, there are plenty of apps with friendship-making features, like Bumble BFFs and Yubo, to name a few. "I turned to Facebook as I find some of the friendship apps to be quite superficial," says Teya Elisabeth, 27. "I just don't feel super comfortable swiping left or right on a potential friend based on a few photos!"

Having made the move from Australia to the UK, she’d found it difficult to find new mates, which left her feeling lonely and disconnected. Not wanting to rely solely on her boyfriend for company, she made her friendship application after seeing others do the same.

"I found myself a bit stuck when it came to finding spaces to connect with other people my age, and even more so with similar interests," she says. "I work from home and study online, so I don't really have a natural second or third place that historically I may have met people through."

“Through a Facebook group, I was able to give a bit of background on myself, why I'm looking for friends and what some of my interests are; [so] the messages I got were all from people I have something in common with.”

Elisabeth’s experience is commonplace. There’s nowhere to hang out anymore that doesn’t cost money, and, in an era of rising rent and bills, it’s impacted our ability to go out and find our jollies. According to research conducted by the University of Salford, two in five say they are cutting down on eating out, travelling and socialising outside of home in response to the cost of living crisis.

The friendship application trend seems to have begun around 2022, and has since gained some traction on TikTok, where the hashtag now has over 10,000 posts. But Facebook is where it has become cemented, with multiple posts being made daily in several women-only community groups up and down the country.

Dionne Loftus, 25, decided to do one when she came to the realisation that she needed to expand her social circle. "I moved to Bristol seven years ago now, and with working at Starbucks and being a young party animal, made lots of great friends," she says. But as the good times rolled on, she found herself becoming less and less interested in partying, and chose a slower pace of life.

"I turned 25, got married, started managing a business alone with my husband – and stopped drinking. I found almost all my friends dropped off one by one, and I've no idea how to make friends sober," she says.

The digital scattergun approach of the friendship application seems to attract a lot of engagement from other group members, and some posts receive hundreds of comments of like-minded others looking to connect. "I could target everyone I wanted to reach with one clear message rather than loads of little ones," says Loftus.

But are all those likes and reacts translating into meaningful friendships? "A few have met for pottery/coffee so far and a couple [for] climbing, I believe," she says. "Next weekend we are hoping to do a big meet-up. Everyone is so lovely." Similarly, Ellie says she has managed to begin making plans with a new social circle for when she returns to the city, and Elisabeth is adding meet-up dates to her diary.

From scanning the TikTok hashtag, it’s quite clear that a clear majority of the posts about friendship applications are coming from women. But male loneliness is no secret. A report by the UK’s Movember Foundation found that one in four men are in contact with their friends less than once a month, and one in ten can’t recall the last time they interacted with friends. So where are all the guys?

It probably doesn’t come as a surprise that I failed to find any men who wanted to talk to me about posting friendship applications, but some were interested in the idea. "I haven't made a friendship application, but the concept makes so much sense to me, particularly in the context of our current social landscape," says Jonnathan Josias. "What stands out about these applications is their ability to create meaningful connections based on shared interests, values, and lifestyles."

Reaching out to people one-on-one has always felt daunting and anxiety-inducing. There's the risk of rejection to navigate, for one; then there’s the time you need to invest in that person before a friendship can bloom. And what if it doesn't? Have you wasted your finite time and social battery?

It’s heartwarming and altogether unexpected that a platform as horrendously mundane as Facebook – one that has come to symbolise so much that is wrong with our lives – might have become a place where people are rectifying these social hurdles in small but meaningful ways.

"In my opinion, friendship applications are more than just a trend,” says Josias, “they're a reflection of how our generation adapts to and embraces technological advancements in building and maintaining social relationships."