Man Makes Wildly Inadequate Attempt to Throw Football for $1 Million

Can we be real for a moment? Not every Regular Joey out there has hands the size of NFL legend Brett Favre, whose right mitt spanned 10 ⅜ inches from thumb tip to pinkie tip. Many of us are closer to Tony Romo, who's unsurprisingly all of 8.8 inches. Some people have hands that are smaller still.

Anyway, enter: Joey Dell. Earlier today, Joey participated in a football throwing contest. The goal was to win $1 million for Operation Homefront, a charity that helps military families in need. The contest was broadcast on ESPN, as part of its pregame programming for the college football championship game.

Our dude had to throw a football perhaps 25 yards in the air, through a target about the size of a typical receiver's grip—which would be pretty hard for someone who's not a recent professional, college, or high-school quarterback (or coach); as it happens, the rules exclude those people from participating. So, after ESPN's hype man Marty Smith whipped the crowd into a frenzy and added a, "No pressure, Joey," well:

Man, he threw that football like he was competing in a pie-throwing contest. Did his hand suddenly lose all of its nerve endings? Or was he simply not gifted with Brett Favre hands?

Yep, those digits look pret-ty small-to-average. That, or that and the fact that he was not a recent professional, college, or high school quarterback (or coach) meant that Joey had no chance to throw the ball with any spiral intensity whatsoever. He was basically pushing it toward the target. As Joe Lucia of the Comeback wrote, perhaps he should have tried a chest pass.

It's not all bad for Joey, though. Neither Kirk Herbstreit (who tried twice) nor Smith were able to make the throw either. Reminding us of one of life's great lessons: Never try.

[ESPN]