Melbourne: We Tested Your MDMA

_This article is part of the VICE MDMA Census. See the results for cities all around Australia here.  _For a glossary of the different chemicals we identified, read this.

Depending who you are, Chapel Street is either a Melbourne fashion hotspot or a hotbed of despicables where sexual assault, drugs, and violence is rife. Hot tip: it's just a street. Full disclosure, I live on Chapel and it takes me seven minutes and 37 seconds to walk to Revolver, a club where some bad MD has been floating around recently, hence this survey. Here are the results of some purity tests I conducted around Melbourne, most of them on and around Chapel Street.

(Exhibit A)

(Exhibit B)

VICE: Hey there, where do you get your drugs from?
Nuku: I get my drugs from a drug dealer, I trust him. We've got a nearly five-year relationship going on so, yeah, I trust him—as much as you can trust somebody.

What do you think the test results will be?
I think both batches will come out pretty dark purple… although the clearer one looks quite speedy, it looks quite clear and glassy.

What's the difference? Is one cheaper and therefore less pure?
Yeah, you have to pay for quality. That's a problem with people out as well, if you go up to someone and say the pill is $30 nobody wants to buy it because people are out selling shit for $20. But it's not actually MD, it's something else, but they'll still go for the $20 one. They're more worried about the price than the actual content.

(Exhibit A, and B)

Are you surprised by the test results?
I'm not surprised by the first one. The second one I am pleasantly surprised, I'm very happy about it.

How do you feel about taking these drugs now?
I didn't have a problem before the test and I'm not going to have a problem now.

Do you think Australia should legalise pill testing at festivals and other events?
Yeah, if it stops a couple of kids from killing themselves because they don't know what the fuck they're doing then yeah it's a good thing. Whether it should be paid for by the government or by the festival is a whole different story I guess.

Who do you think should pay for it?
Well I guess drug taking is because we live in a society like this—and we need a little escape—so maybe if the government gave us a better world to live in then we wouldn't take drugs. So yeah they should have to pay for the drug testing.

VICE: Where did you get your drugs and do you trust your drug dealer?
Annie: I do, yeah. I mean I get them from my boyfriend.

So you trust your boyfriend.
In relation to drugs, absolutely. But otherwise no, in every other capacity.

What do you think the results will be?
I'm sure it will be MD.

So it's MDMA. Are you surprised?
No not really, I've had this stuff before and would've known if it was something else.

How do you feel about taking your MD now that we've tested it, and about drugs in general?
It was what it was meant to be so I feel alright about it. As for drugs, basically I think we should just let people do what they want to do, because they're going to do it anyway.

Do you think legal pill testing will save lives?
Absolutely. I think every user I know will take drugs anyway. It's not like the government will be encouraging it further. It's good to be able to find out what's in what you're taking and eliminate the risk you're taking with your life. But I don't think not having pill testing will stop anybody, it certainly wont stop me.

Why do you think Australian politicians are against the implementation of pill testing at festivals?
I think it's because they grew up in an environment without a drug culture. I just think our government is so outdated. I mean they don't think gay people are the same as us, so I don't really trust their opinions on a lot of things.

Where do you get your drugs and do you trust your dealer?
I've never actually got drugs from a dealer. I always just get my friends to get them for me. I do trust them. I don't know their dealers but, yeah, it's kind of what you need to do.

What do you think the results might be?
Um I'm not really sure to be honest… I think it's good quality. I hope it's good.

Are you surprised by the results?
Kind of, I can't decide what colour it is, it looks quite dark actually, with a bit of green and maybe some tinges of yellow? I don't know.

Will you still take your drugs?
Yeah, my friends have taken some already and they're fine.

Why are you so determined to take it?
Because I feel happy when I take drugs. Also there's no right and wrong, there's nothing objective in the world that tells you what is right and wrong, therefore taking drugs is just a thing that happens.

Do you think pill testing should be legal in Australia?
Yes, but it never will be legal because the government doesn't want to be seen as soft. And I think people are going to take drugs regardless of whether they're tested or not. Like, if they have them at festivals and the testing tent is all the way on the other side and you know festivals, they're so massive, you don't wanna walk to the other side of it. If you have drugs in your tent, you're just going to take them. You've already paid money for them, you're not going to care what's inside them. You're just there to party. So I don't know if pill testing facilities would be an efficient use of money. There are probably other things the money could be spent on.

VICE: Where do you get your drugs and do you trust your dealer?
Luke: Bro, I am the dealer.

What do you think the results might be?
It's good MD so I'm pretty sure it'll be purple.

Are you surprised by the results?
Nah.

How do you now feel about taking the drug?
I've already had a few lines, mate.

Should pill testing be legal?
Pill testing should be legal in clubs and stuff like that, yeah for sure. Using drugs should be legal too. But as for the actual selling of the drug, that should still remain illegal purely because, for one thing, I'll be out of a job. And then you've got the retail aspect. It's so boring having to buy a pack of cigarettes, or going to buy a beer from the Bottle-O. You just walk in, get your thing and then you leave. But if you've got an actual drug dealer where you go to their house, you build a relationship with that person, then that person knows you and you know them. Legalisation would kill that environment. It would make buying drugs just a stale everyday experience.

Follow Dave on Twitter

Disclaimer: We aren't scientists. We ran a handful of tests, in a handful of cities, over the course of a few nights. These kits aren't going to identify the presence of some non-testable poison. Plus, there's no guarantee you have the same MD—drugs differ from place to place, night to night. But you already knew that.

Note: These articles were made possible by EZ Test who donated all testing kits free of charge.