Jamie Taete's Internet Landfill Christmas Edition

GOD CREATES NEW TECHNO SUBGENRE

I know, as young people, this song sounds really pleasing to your ears. But if you look carefully past the Ellen costume and the parents who have never heard of the word "bullying", this is actually religious music. Hard to believe, huh? They explain it further in their press release:

- "A new song celebrates the birth of Jesus 2010 years ago with a sound as fresh as the 21st Century."

- "Impressing listeners with a techno beat typical of dance clubs rather than church pews."

- "Technopraise is a breath of fresh air on the contemporary worship music scene."

- "This new genre allows worship songs to reach Asian, European, and other global markets."

- "Those who don't know Jesus still can enjoy these incredible songs and their redeeming message."

- "As Christians, we should be global trendsetters," Mamchur says. 'This means pairing soulful vocals with techno beats and spreading the Gospel in universally approachable ways."

EARLY INSTANCE OF SWEARING DISCOVERED

Skip to 27 seconds in. She says "Later we'll have some fuckin' pie," right? This isn't even a misheard lyric. It's allegedly "pumpkin", but there's no way it is. There is DEFINITELY an 'F' on the start of that word.

CHRISTMAS THEMED FLASH MOB BREAKS ALL FLASH MOB RECORDS

From another press release:

"Alphabet Photography Inc., based in Niagara Falls, Ontario organized a Flash Mob on November 13th to simply spread some Christmas cheer and thank its customer base, but it seems to have taken on a life of its own ever since it was uploaded on November 16.

Impressively, in just seven weeks, the video has went from a Christmas Video Card produced and created by a small Niagara Falls-based company to send to their clients, to a YouTube record breaker, recently surpassing over 25.5 million views."

I hate to sound like one of those "Ke$ha outselling Led Zepellin makes me worry for the future of our generation" assholes, but seriously? In 2010? A flash-mob? 25.5 million views? SERIOUSLY? Jeez world!

Anyways, have a nice Christmas. I hope that it, like Mariah Carey, is festive to the power of 2 billion:

JAMIE LEE CURTIS TAETE