Things You Should Never Do In a Cinema

Our friends at Grolsch Film Works have a website where you can find out what they’ve been up to and read/watch interesting stuff about films. Every week we'll be plucking the highlights. This is that.

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO IN A CINEMA

The cinema is always a pretty popular place to go on Valentine's Day: whether you're a disgustingly loved-up couple calling each other schnookums during a screening of Breakfast at Tiffany's or a lonely singleton weeping through three boxes of Kleenex over the course of Moulin Rouge. Either way, in all the flurry of emotions of the day, there's a chance you might forget your manners and break one of the golden rules of cinema etiquette. Good thing I'm here to remind you, though. Aren't you just so lucky to have me?

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CLAIRE DENIS TALKS 'BASTARDS' & CANNES CONTROVERSY

Despite the furor at Cannes over Bastards’ final graphic sexual scene—in which we witness, voyeur-style, an incestuous threesome—Claire Denis is sticking to her creative guns. Insisting on the importance of showing “the heart” of tragedy, the French filmmaker’s latest neo-noir thriller is full of the raw, risky and cliché-free visuals we’ve come to expect. But even Denis’ masterfully oblique, darkly-detailed storytelling doesn’t prepare you for Bastards’ brutal and shocking ending.

Aptly named, there are a lot of particularly nasty, dysfunctional family members in Bastards. So unpleasant, in fact, that Denis prefers the film title of "C**ts" to that of its "polite," current English translation. In Bastards, Marco (Vincent Lindon) returns to Paris after his brother-in-law's suicide, where he targets Laporte, the shadowy man his sister believes is responsible for her family’s destruction. However, his attention is soon diverted by Laporte’s much-younger wife Raphaelle (Chiara Mastroianni), and the enigmatic tragedy surrounding his sexually abused niece Justine (Lola Creton).

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JAMES FRANCO MIGHT PLAY A KKK LEADER IN HARMONY KORINE’S NEXT MOVIE

After requesting everyone looks at his "sheeyit" in Spring Breakers, James Franco is supposedly reteaming with Harmony Korine for A Crack-up at the Race Riots. The film would be an adaptation of Korine’s own 1998 novel, which loosely tracks a surreal race war in Florida. “The blacks are run by MC Hammer,” Korine told David Letterman in 1997. “And the whites are run by Vanilla Ice.”

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WATCH SPIKE JONZE & KAREN O PERFORM 'THE MOON SONG' FROM HER

Spike Jonze's Her is out now EVERYWHERE, so you have no excuse to say you haven't seen one of the best films of 2014 so far.

Jonze's timely sci-fi love story is, in a way, profoundly sad. And adding greatly to the film's romance and deep sense of loneliness is the incredibly moving "The Moon Song" by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, here performing with none other than the director himself (OK, he kinda needs to work on his vocal).

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Keep your peepers peeled for more Grolsch Film Works updates next week. Go to grolschfilmworks.com to see what’s happening right now.