Chunklet to Go Go
The Theory of Rock Entropy
Let’s say for the sake of still taking, that the Theory of Rock Entropy is something you’d be interested in hearing about. In this case, possible questions you’d have include "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Dawn of the Dusk
Interpol says they got a picture of a one year old child in a roasting pan like a piglet. Had an apple in his mouth and everything.
Vinyl and Ebay: A Fascinating Relationship
Ok, so why did you open and handle the record with your big, fluid-gorged sausage fingers? Why can I see the record in your picture? Because you needed to check the color? Check this color, hoss (helps to visualize an extended middle digit right now).
Every Critic’s Dream
Do you have a DJ night? You should have a DJ night. I would go to your DJ night just to hear all of the songs that you think are good because I bet I would think they’re good too. I would either dance to the songs or quietly and reverently listen to...
Ignorance Is Bliss
We could instead be… I don’t know, fucking? Yeah, that doesn’t take any knowledge of anything. Let’s all just fuck and pick our butts like a bunch of gross hairy beasts and stop pretending to be so smart, you guys.
Monoshock Reissue Kills Time Dead
It’s a free country, and there’s no sweeter freedom than spending a little cash to almost not like something even though it’s the kind of thing you think is great.
History of the Rock Grunt
Hey: how about when you're listening to rock music and the singer, instead of singing words, just lets out a real primal grunt? Isn't that the best? Yes, it is the best. What follows is a historical tour through some of Rock's Great Grunts.
Steve Miller's Account of Intercepting a Box of Records Addressed to His Son
Fan Fiction based on inner dialogues of hilarious generational dissonance: legendary classic rock guitarist Steve Miller’s first-person account.
Bringing in the String Section with Michael Gira
Michael Gira is not known for making tepid, lightweight albums. Swans exudes a superhuman intensity. Even the band's recent reunion has transcended expectations.
Recalibrating Your Opinions so the World Doesn’t Bother You
Sometimes, thanks to the internet, it’s “fuk u idiot” instead of “LA LA LA LA LA,” but the idea is roughly the same. People dislike hearing things they don’t instantly agree with.
The Wheel of Punk Part Two
The good news about The Wheel of Punk™ is we don’t have to decide who is more punk. We can just say “however punk you think The Ramones are, the Sex Pistols are equally punk and vice versa, only the Sex Pistols are on the ‘artier’ side of the circle...
The Wheel of Punk
This is what we've needed all along, a surefire way to determine what's punk, and what's more punk. Use codeword: BANANAS in the comments section for an added sense of intellectual superiority.