Volume 21 Issue 8

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  • Detention Children's Whiskey

    Slept through the alarm. Spilled my juice at breakfast. Missed the school bus. Even got in a fight at lunchtime. Wasn't all bad, though. Still got Detention Children's Whiskey.

  • 9½ Weeks: An Erotic XXX Parody

    A good buddy I grew up skateboarding with just had his penis surgically removed, and Mickey Rourke made him do it. As kids there was no one we wanted to be more than The Pope of Greenwich Village– and 9½ Weeks–era Mickey Rourke.

  • Slaves of Happiness Island

    What's often lost in the reporting of foreign labor in the United Arab Emirates are of the workers themselves.

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  • The Future of Chickens

    As the world heats up, humans will have to adapt to the changing climate in all sorts of ways—and so will our chickens.

  • Employees of the Month

    Grace is real good at words and stuff and shows up to work on time most days, so we’re happy as a (non-diseased) pig in shit to have her.

  • I Fertilized My Salad with Period Blood

    Blood contains three primary plant macronutrients—nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium. So, as a poor gardener and menstrual-cup enthusiast, I decided to collect my next cycle to help grow some lettuce.

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