Articles from Volume 19 Issue 10

Comics

Deep Donkey

Holy shit! There's a donkey down here! Full story

Skinema

Anal Lessons

Are there scouts in the porn business like in baseball who travel the minor-league circuit looking for the next big star? If so, I think that’s what I’d like to do when I grow up. Full story

The Cute Show Page!

Wiener Dog Races!

In August, Montreal held its fifth annual wiener-dog race day. Prizes were awarded for the fastest runner, best costume, and bobbing for wieners—that’s like bobbing for apples but with dogs and cocktail wieners, and it’s as amazing as it sounds. Full story

Something Fishy

The Strange Rewards and Follies of Bristol Bay’s Great Salmon Run

Deep in Southwest Alaska lies an abandoned salmon cannery known as Graveyard Point. Every summer fishermen converge on this area. Great fortunes can be earned or lost here, depending on a man's luck. I’ve fished here for the past four years, taking these photos along the way. Full story

2012 Is Bullshit; 2020 Is When We’ll really Be in Trouble

Scientist Peter Turchin's work suggests that the next state of upheaval in the US is set to hit in 2020. It’s like that Mayan-apocalypse nonsense, except Peter’s theory is the result of the hard work of a respected scientist rather than some dead Central American dudes. Full story

Bush-League Rebels

A Perplexing Survey of the Congo’s Myriad Resistance Groups

I visited a camp in the city of Goma set up to house rebel combatants who had surrendered. The facility was split along ethnic lines, with only a chain-link fence separating Hutu and Tutsi fighters who have been spilling each other’s blood by the bucket for decades.   Full story

Bob Odenkirk’s Page

Tell Us About Your Tats!

Every tattoo tells a story and has a story—that’s two stories per tat! So every month we stop someone on the street and ask them to “tell us ’bout them tats!” This month we stopped Gordon Penniweather in Park Slope, and he filled us in on the story behind a few of his many tats… Full story

Combover

Dirty Laundry

This one’s difficult. Used to be my best friend. My mentor, really. Taught me everything I know about the business. Helped me get my first assistant’s job with Billy Wilder. Then the white dragon set him on fire. And before I knew it, I was his own personal ATM. Full story

Atheism - Sexism = Atheism +

Sometimes being a lady atheist can put you in close proximity with “enlightened” male unbelievers who make rape jokes because, well, there’s no God to punish them. Atheist blogger Jennifer McCreight set up an online forum that fights that kind of ignorance called “Atheism+.”… Full story

King Dude Is the King of Dudes

T.J. Cowgill, the guy who runs the clothing label Actual Pain, also performs music under the name King Dude. He’s the most optimistic, friendly Luciferian we know, a declaration made all the more powerful by his new record, Burning Daylight, which is out this month. Full story

Celebrities as Food

Photos by Jaimie Warren and custom masks, makeup, and hair by Lee Heinemann. Full story

Seals Are Assholes

Australian fur seals may sound like stuffed animals with a pulse, but in reality they’re greedy blobs of fat who will eat all of Tasmania’s salmon if the current situation is left unchecked. For these fatties, salmon is “like a cross between a Big Mac and heroin.” Full story

Lil' Thinks

Me Vs. “Me”

Disassociative identity politics is when anyone decides to cast a Hail Mary vote, maybe on the basis of likability or on some imagined basis of a very different Future Me or something, thus avoiding the participatory requirement of their minitribe in the most essential moment of Full story

Shiva’s Wedding

Love (and Marriage) in the Himalayas

We’d been in India for a month, and it looked like the wedding wasn't going to happen. The last two times I’d been married my brides had been enthusiastic—they were insistent, even. Now I was getting married for a third time to a woman who didn’t want to marry me by a Tibetan Bud… Full story

Keep Your Reputation Tight with Reconstructive Hymen Surgery (or, if You're Poor, Chinese Hymens)

Whores, do I have some good news for you: Reverting your vagina to its pre-popped state is possible. (Not in the medical sense, of course, but in the by-the-standards-of-the-poorly-educated-and-ultrareligious sense.) In fact, many women around the world are doing it at this very Full story

Transmutations in Tijuana

Meet the Christian Pastor Who's Praying Away the Gay in the Mexican Border Town's Slums

Eduardo Herrera Gómez is 30 years old, and he is one of 25 “redeemed” homosexuals who have kneeled before Alma Leticia Rosas, a Pentecostal pastor who claims to have the power to exorcize diabolical spirits that, according to her, cause homosexuality “and other evil deviations.”… Full story

Swole

Photos by Ben Ritter; Styling by Annette Lamothe-Ramos Full story

Advertisers Are Living in Your Brain

A group of researchers used brain-computer interface devices to extract PINs from people’s minds and published their findings. One of the paper’s authors, told us not to worry about being mindfucked. Instead, this technology will mostly be used for advertising... Great, we feel a… Full story

Death of the American Hobo

The National Hobo Convention Reaches the End of the Line

If highways and roads are America’s veins, the hundreds of thousands of miles of tracks are like those chakra diagrams in acupuncturists’ offices, the hidden flows of energy that affect the body as a whole. Full story

Records

When you are in the middle of an itchy cock of a day, are an ass hair away from freaking out, and are making things a whole lot worse for yourself by stewing on shit, just calm your mind for a second, just calm your mind for a second. Full story

One in the Oven

Artist and ‘Girls’ Star Jemima Kirke Bares Her Belly and Chats with Us About Being a Grown-Up

Richard Kern and I drove out to the East Hampton family home of Jemima Kirke, the star of HBO's 'Girls,' to photograph her at eight months pregnant. I also chatted with her about the time we did key bumps together in a bathroom, dating assholes, and being famous. Full story

The Forgetful Ghost

If you claim to like books and reading and don’t know who William T. Vollmann is by now, there is even less hope for this thing we call humanity than what can be gleaned from his prose. Bill sent us this great story below about an amnesiac spirit which is perfect for Halloween-ti… Full story

On the Wagon

Riding Along at the Chuckwagon Championships, Perhaps the Most American Event of All Time

Brain seepage, I think to myself as I watch paramedics tend to a rider who’s been ripped from his saddle. He’s not getting up. It’s the first hour of the first day of the National Championship Chuckwagon Races in Clinton, Arkansas, and I’m just realizing how dangerous this sport… Full story