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You have to remember that, in most cases, these people are victims themselves. When children are exposed to severe violence and drug use from their parents, they don't have a model to follow. There are parents who've been through such terrible abuse themselves that they project onto you. We're the focus of a lot of people's anxieties. There have been high profile social work failures but, really, those cases tend to be workers set up to fail, with unachievable case loads. None of the serious case reviews that I've read found the reason for a death to be solely down to incompetence. Incompetence in the face of impossible case loads is much more common.These are people the police would never go see alone, or without stab-proof vests, mace spray, and radio contact—but we're sent in with no-one knowing where we are and armed just with a mobile phone.
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So why do I continue to put myself through this?I'll give you an example. We got involved with this mother because she was a heavy drinker. During one of her blackouts, she assaulted her child. It was horrendous. I thought, There's no way this child can stay with this family. But with a great deal of difficult work with the parents, support from the grandparents, and the family drug and alcohol court, gradually the situation shifted. The mom became more reflective, the children did better in school. Years later, I got a Christmas card from the granny saying that the little ones are doing amazingly well, that they're back with their mom, who now runs alcohol support groups.Of course, that's not going to happen every day. But although we can't always see the results of the work we're doing at the time, that doesn't mean it's not making a difference. If a young person is in a really bad place, they need someone alongside them, to hold them together like a parent would. Hopefully this won't just make their life better but might prevent the whole fucked up cycle starting all over again when they have their own kids. That means the world. So, although this job drives me crazy and makes me cry, I'm not going anywhere just now. Because if I don't do it, who will?As told to Rachel Segal Hamilton.Women try to leave violent men and the accommodation we offer is so shitty I get why it might not seem like such a bad idea to go back.