VICE SPORTS
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If You Don’t Like the Spurs, You’re a Wall-Eyed Moron
The Spurs don’t deserve their rough reputation among idiot half-awake check-in basketball fans. They're the NBA’s model franchise. Full story
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Dan Hardy: The Outlaw
Dan Hardy gets paid to beat people up and he loves every minute of it. Full story
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The Mercy Rule - Contemporary Magic
There's something remarkable about the fact that acerbic gnome and mock-turtleneck aficionado Stan Van Gundy is the most recognizably human player in the chain of events that cost him his job. Full story
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A Conversation With Biker/Skater/Rig Pig/All Around Cool As Fuck Kid, Kynan Tait
Just a humble dude who claims he can't get chicks. Full story
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Lolo Jones Might Be a Virgin Forever
All of her potential suitors are jackoffs. Full story
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A Complete Dipshit's Guide to the Roger Clemens Trial
"Why are they throwing the book at The Big Man? Isn’t he dead? Can’t Obama let him rest in peace?" These and all of your other stupid questions answered by our crack sports department. Full story
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Snitch-O-Metrics: Who's the Red Sox's Clubhouse Rat?
I've decided to profile each active player left from the Sox's 2011 roster and rate their XSP (Expected Snitching Percentage). Full story
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The Wide World of Balls - Haha, Dude Got Hit in the Sack!
This week Alex Gordon got a ball in the nuts and Lawrence Taylor earned more money to pay for his underage prostitutes. Full story
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JR Smith Is Dating Rihanna and Life Is Unfair
What does it mean for the Knicks if these two are having genital parties with each other? Full story
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Baseball Teams Are Maybe Not Idiots
The truth is, the guys making the decisions in baseball probably aren’t as numb-skulled as they appear. Full story
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The Wide World of Balls - May 14, 2012
If it's not in this column it doesn't have to do with balls. Full story
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Relegation is Super Duper Cool
This weekend, let's celebrate not-quite-shitty-enough soccer. Full story
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Knicks, Nixed
The Knicks aren’t getting any more good players, and the guys they have aren’t good enough. Maybe you should read a book or something instead of watching Knicks games next year? Full story
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Arto Saari
Arto Saari's story is nothing short of miraculous. Obviously he's naturally gifted and skated his ass off as a kid, but his rise to prominence is like no one else's. Full story
Noisey
Bass Drum of Death
Motherboard
The Agony and the Ecstasy: The Quiet Mission to Figh...
The Creators Project
The Empire Strikes... The French Suburbs?
Motherboard
"Have Courage": IDC's Terrifying, Uncanny...
The Creators Project
Jamie XX Teams Up With Quayola For A Spectacle...
Noisey
Black Lips/Cerebral Ballzy Tour Diary 011: Babes...