Lee Roy Myers Wants to Save Porn by Destroying Your Youth

By Matthew Francey


Photo by 38d8288569983722891b7e54b3a509d5

In 2007, the wanking industry went into meltdown as porn tube sites like YouPorn and RedTube changed the world of smut from a shadowy cash purchase into something that was just a free, guiltless click away. Just like the music industry, porn was battered by viral piracy. But, unlike record labels, it can’t really make up for the deficit in content revenue by getting Apple to sponsor Chasey Lain's vagina and taking it on a worldwide reunion tour.

So while the rest of the world masturbated in blissful ignorance, the porn industry faced studio closures, plummeting wages, rolling unemployment, condom laws and high-profile suicides. If anyone was going to make any money from fucking on camera ever again, the industry would have to adapt.

Director Lee Roy Myers thinks he knows the right way to do it. Meyers decided to swerve into porn parody, but instead of softcore remakes of Hollywood films – a la Schindler’s Fist and The Hills Have Thighs – Lee Roy opted to produce hardcore live-action versions of beloved children's cartoon shows. The formula is surprisingly simple: think of the most fucked up cartoon to remake, make a SFW trailer, upload to YouTube, let word of mouth and public disgust do all the marketing and you've got three million views.

Those views inevitably lead the more curious and horny of the trailer viewers to his website, where they can watch the whole movie for free while Lee Roy drums up cash from the site's advertising. He tried it with The Simpsons and it worked. Now he's trying Spongebob. I caught up with Lee Roy to discuss how he's trying to save porn by ruining everyone's childhood.

VICE: Hey Lee. How did you get started making porn?
Lee Roy Meyers: I was a TV executive in Canada and came up from production. I met a lot of adult studios through working in TV and got invited to write a movie, then they asked me if I wanted to direct it – and I did. That worked out and it just snowballed after that so I decided to move to LA and do it full time.

Were you doing it for the money?
No, I came in after the money left [laughs]. For me, it was that there was no bureaucracy like there is in television or movies. You need to get funding for them and wait around for maybe a year to make the movie or the show. In porn, I pitch an idea and a lot of times before the script even gets written I’m told, “Okay, go do it and we’ll release it within a couple of months.” I like the no-bullshit system of getting my ideas out there.

Did that happen when you came up with SpongeKnob SquareNuts?
I didn’t have to pitch that one, actually. That's for this website Wood Rocket that I’m one of the owners of. It came about after me and a friend were sitting around discussing what would be really fucked up to do a porno of that would also be interesting and funny. I think we both said “SpongeBob” at the same time.

Has it been popular so far? 
Well, it’s been what you would expect and what we expect when we make something like that. I’ve made fucked up things before; I’ve done a Golden Girls parody, a live-action Simpsons.


The SFW trailer for Lee Roy’s Simpsons porn parody :(

How did people react to The Simpsons parody?
Mostly, “You killed my childhood,” “Fuck you guys,” “I hope you burn in hell,” mixed amongst the “this is great” comments.

What is it you enjoy about provoking people?
The way I’ve always approached porn is trying to find new ways to get sales through media attention and the best way to find new markets is through mainstream media. Through people picking up on a story and being freaked out or engaged by a new form of porn. Honestly, it's about both shock value and doing something I find funny and trying to do a good sex scene as well. I mean, as weird as it is – as weird as all these ideas can be – if I don’t do a sex scene that people could masturbate to, then I’m not doing it right.

So you still want it to be sexy.
Very much so. With SpongeKnob, that’s still a good blowjob scene – underneath everything. It’s still Skin Diamond, who's one of the best porn performers out there and she doesn’t just give up halfway through. The first part has to be funny and then the sex part has to be sexy and then I have to catch that cum shot on camera. Those are the three things I think about when I shoot the scene.

How did you make that weird SpongeKnob suit, by the way?
A special effects make-up artist created it. I gave them a month's notice and I said, "Let's make something reminiscent of 1990s porn parodies – still a little rough looking, definitely so it still looks like a guy in a box." I think people got that it was a homage to 90s porn parodies. It was very surreal. The porn star who wore it, Anthony Rosano, is a champ. I’ve given him a lot of ridiculous tasks in the past but this probably takes the cake.

When you make porn parodies of kid-orientated programs, is there a backlash from parenting groups?
It’s pretty rare but it does happen. I saw an article online that basically said I was Satan, luring children to the devil. I kept it and I have it on my desk now. First of all, if my goal is to lure in children, I would never make money. Second, my goal is not to get children to watch porn. It doesn’t make any sense; if a group really did attack me for it, I’d write it off as ridiculous because I know that my intentions are not to sell porn to kids.

I think the SpongeKnob suit would scare most children off porn anyway.
Yeah, I think so, too! It’s very creepy and that’s OK by me. I don’t think it’s possible to make a live-action walking, talking, fucking Sponge without it being creepy.

Are you worried you might get sued for copyright infringement or something?
There’s always the danger of being sued, but there’s always a danger to get sued for pretty much anything in the US. As far as companies coming after us for copyright, I’m making a parody – I’m commenting on the original content. Often I’m making fun of it. So, if they came after me, I’d usually be protected by free speech laws. If I made something that was a straight take on the original then they would probably come after me and they would probably win. I’m always very conscious of the words coming out of the actors' mouths – other than moans – to make sure that they’re actually making a statement about what we’re trying to parody.

I guess the fact that there’s hardcore sex in it makes it pretty obvious you’re not trying to remake the original.
Yeah. And I always feel a lot better with the cartoons because it’s live action and so, by the very fact that it’s a live action, it’s very obviously a parody.

What other parodies have you done?
I’ve made a tonne. I’d say I’ve covered most of the popular TV shows and movies of the last couple of decades. I’ve done Seinfeld, 30 RockThe Godfather, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Family Guy, Sailor Moon, The Office (the American version – sorry), The Big Lebowski... I’ve done a lot and I really enjoy doing them. I honestly love the feeling when I get on set and I say to myself, “Wow, this is really fucked up.” And I get that a lot when I’m making the parodies.

The industry took a real hit a few years ago, has it changed a lot?
It’s a different world; people expect content for free. It’s not that we should be blaming everybody, but we should move on and adapt and evolve. I mean, it’s probably better for us. I love the fact that I get more people seeing my movies than ever before. With Wood Rocket, we sell ad space, have a store, do some product placement and we take donations. I feel like people will support something that they care about.

Product placement? Like Pepsi cans littered around the place, or something?      
We would do normal products if they were brought to us, but so far we’ve been starting with some of the top sex toy companies. They’re being written into the scripts, so it’s not going to look like a commercial. Luckily the companies we’re working with have a sense of humour about how we use their products and I think it works really well.

What lies ahead?
We do a lot of web series. We’ve got Ask A Porn Star, James Deen Loves Food, Topless Girls Reading, Memes I’d Like To Fuck and then we’ve got five parodies coming up. There’s a cult classic, a historical Oscar-contender and a science fiction fantasy film. We’re also thinking about Game of Thrones. We really try to do things that are weird and wild and fun and funny and sexy. People seem to like it and we’re shooting more than I’ve ever shot before.

Glad you’re keeping busy. Thanks, Lee Roy!

Follow Matthew on Twitter: @matthewfrancey

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