What's the Most Creative Way You've Ever Got Drunk?

Photo by Jess Cole.

Remember when drinking was exciting? When mixing together a thimble of every kind of alcohol your parents had in an empty Coke bottle made you feel like Bukowski at your end of year nine party? Worldly, depraved and decadent without the huge red nose, the crippling alcoholism and the inevitability of waking up drenched in your own piss every morning.

But once you can drink legally, it all starts to get a little mundane. There's only so many pint and shot glasses you can swig from before your soul craves another input for inebriation. But what are those other kinds of input? A girl somehow made the national news this weekend for downing a pint through her ear, but that seemed dumb, so I thought I'd go and get some inspiration by asking people walking around London a question: What's the most creative way you've ever got drunk?

Jose: Um… you know about cotton?

VICE: Cotton?
You soak cotton in alcohol, then you put it in your bum.

Does it work?
Yeah, you have to be careful, though – it sometimes works too well.

What kind of alcohol did you use?
Wine.

How did it taste afterwards?
No, it has no taste – it's just like injecting yourself, but without any needles.

Is this a common experience?
It’s common for punk kids in Sweden.

Fair enough.

Jake: That’s kind of a tricky question. There have been lots of ways, I just don’t remember now. I’m trying to think of one.

Have you ever tried doing a shot in your eye?
I haven’t done anything like that, no. Just excessive drinking, I think.

Tell me about some of that.
On a 20-something birthday, I was working in a nightclub and had the night off, so I was getting free drinks. I had far too many, somebody gave me a tequila slammer, I vomited all over the bar and all over the bar girl and I was forced to clean it up.

Sounds like a great birthday. Thanks, Jake.

Jack: The most creative way?

Yeah, one girl recently drank a pint through her ear.
I’m not anywhere near that creative. In my personal experience, it would be drinking games.

Like what?
Oh, you’re really pushing me; I’m not very creative.

C’mon.
Counting ones, where the person who can’t count right can’t drink. We do advanced mathematics that aren’t even that advanced.

Sounds complicated.

Jemma (left) and Aman.

Jemma: Oh god – you best ask her.
Aman: I’ve only drunk from a shoe. That’s it really.

You drunk from a shoe?
Yeah, I was in uni and we drank from a shoe.

What did you drink?
Some shots, and someone poured loads of pints into the shoe.
Jemma: I’ve done cocktails in a wellington boot before, actually.

Do you wear them around afterwards?
Not any more.

What happened on these shoe drinking nights?
I can’t remember, to be honest.

Let down.

Shaun: Eggybombers.

What’s an eggybomber?
It’s a Jaeger-bomb with sambuca.

How does that go down?
Try 50 of them and wait till the next morning, mate.

I don’t think I’d make it to the next morning.

Magali: Like how?

Like downing a pint through your ear.
Oh my god, how stupid.

Have you ever done something stupid?
I can tell you a good story.

Please do.
I was in Paris with my friend, we were very drunk and it was raining like hell. A cab driver pulls up, then does the window up and leaves, so we run after the cab and we’re like, “What the fuck are you doing?” My friend gets her elbow through the window, then the guy gets angry with us so we walk off. Then, out of nowhere, some guy pops up in front of us, holds us up against the wall and says in some Mob-Italian accent, "You do not touch that taxi." Then we got on the bus. Then the police stopped the bus and arrested us. Then they let us go.

Wow, OK. Thanks.

Previously - What Food Would You Want to Be Cooked to Death In?