Welcome to Question of the Day! It gives interns something to do.
The Earth is a mysterious place full of strange and unexplainable phenomena, something we at VICE know all too well. Working off the assumption that everybody believes in ghosts (because we all do, right?), we went out to ask people who they expect to be haunted by before they depart this mortal coil.
Gabriella, 26, campaigner: I think I would be haunted by my grandmother because I feel like, well we got on really well, but I wasn’t that honest with her when she was alive.
Tamsin, 27, campaigner: Ahhh.
Gabriella: She might just question stuff that I’m doing now. Like what?
Maybe being gay, I don’t know how she would deal with it. We never discussed it but it is something I think about at times. So would she just whisper in your ear?
Tamsin: Go out with men! You like cock! Cock is really delicious, trust your granny!
Gabriella: No. Who would you haunt?
Tamsin: It has got to be someone like David Cameron, hasn’t it? He’s a fucking cock. You know, I would do something really bad like steal his children and give them to a normal family, like a normal family in a council estate and see how he feels about that.That's not very nice.
It's not, but ghosts aren’t very nice! I would take pictures of him at his most vulnerable and show them to everyone, or find pictures of him taking coke at university and sell them to the press. Friendly ghost – Casper – well, friendly to the public!
Hannah, 29, personal trainer: Probably our granddad would come back and haunt us. Once he came into my bedroom, completely pissed off his face, and decided to prove that he was still young by doing push-ups at like three in the morning, and I was asleep. So he would probably haunt us by doing something like that. He would also sometimes move things around on purpose just to annoy us.
Would you call an exorcist?
No, I think would just allow him to do it.
Alice, 20, student: Umm, wow, myself?
Why would you haunt yourself?
Alice: Because I know myself best and I know what I have been haunted by in my past.Have you ever seen a ghost?
Sarah, 20, student: I think I have: I was staying at my friend’s at Cambridge college. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw this figure standing at my window. I assumed my friend had got up in the middle of the night but she was all white and glow-y, which I thought was weird.Shit, what did you do?
I went back to sleep. But the next morning I was like, "Mel, were you in the night?" and said she wasn't. Apparently her college is known as a suicide college and somebody had killed themselves on that floor two years before. But to be fair, I was very drunk.Who would you haunt?
Alice: I’d haunt Sarah because it would be fun.
Sarah: I’d enjoy it. Wink Wink!
Who would haunt you?
Jack, 25, bar manager: Michael Jackson or my pet hamster Hamish. When I was four years old Hamish died and he haunts me. How does he haunt you?
I hear scratching every night. It drives me crazy. Who would you haunt?
Michael Jackson. How would you haunt him?
I would crawl into his bed at night. Would you give him a ghostly hand-job?
Yeah, definitely, it is Michael Jackson! And, hopefully I can get Hamish involved as well.
Astrid, 20, pasta chef: Batman, because I am the Joker.
How do you think he would haunt you?
He would throw the little bat thing he has – I don’t know what it is called. Who would you haunt if you could?
I would haunt Johnny Depp. You just want a sneaky grope, huh?
Yeah, exactly. I would also appear in every photo he was in and I'd be watching him.
Marcus, 26, unemployed: My ex-girlfriend? She would be a poltergeist probably, as that would be the worst one. The rest you can ignore but this one is throwing shit around.
So you’d call an exorcist then?
Like the Ghostbusters? Yeah, why not, depends how much it would cost. Who would you haunt?
I don’t have many enemies. I reckon I would haunt my friend Oliver by making his life psychologically and physically hellish. What if he had a mental breakdown because of it?
I would probably be like, "Ahh got ya!" And then I’d go off to the other realm and leave him alone.Previously - What Animal Do You Want to Be?
Tamsin, 27, campaigner: Ahhh.
Gabriella: She might just question stuff that I’m doing now. Like what?
Maybe being gay, I don’t know how she would deal with it. We never discussed it but it is something I think about at times. So would she just whisper in your ear?
Tamsin: Go out with men! You like cock! Cock is really delicious, trust your granny!
Gabriella: No. Who would you haunt?
Tamsin: It has got to be someone like David Cameron, hasn’t it? He’s a fucking cock. You know, I would do something really bad like steal his children and give them to a normal family, like a normal family in a council estate and see how he feels about that.
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It's not, but ghosts aren’t very nice! I would take pictures of him at his most vulnerable and show them to everyone, or find pictures of him taking coke at university and sell them to the press. Friendly ghost – Casper – well, friendly to the public!
No, I think would just allow him to do it.
Alice: Because I know myself best and I know what I have been haunted by in my past.Have you ever seen a ghost?
Sarah, 20, student: I think I have: I was staying at my friend’s at Cambridge college. I woke up in the middle of the night and saw this figure standing at my window. I assumed my friend had got up in the middle of the night but she was all white and glow-y, which I thought was weird.Shit, what did you do?
I went back to sleep. But the next morning I was like, "Mel, were you in the night?" and said she wasn't. Apparently her college is known as a suicide college and somebody had killed themselves on that floor two years before. But to be fair, I was very drunk.
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Alice: I’d haunt Sarah because it would be fun.
Sarah: I’d enjoy it. Wink Wink!
Jack, 25, bar manager: Michael Jackson or my pet hamster Hamish. When I was four years old Hamish died and he haunts me. How does he haunt you?
I hear scratching every night. It drives me crazy. Who would you haunt?
Michael Jackson. How would you haunt him?
I would crawl into his bed at night. Would you give him a ghostly hand-job?
Yeah, definitely, it is Michael Jackson! And, hopefully I can get Hamish involved as well.
He would throw the little bat thing he has – I don’t know what it is called. Who would you haunt if you could?
I would haunt Johnny Depp. You just want a sneaky grope, huh?
Yeah, exactly. I would also appear in every photo he was in and I'd be watching him.
Like the Ghostbusters? Yeah, why not, depends how much it would cost. Who would you haunt?
I don’t have many enemies. I reckon I would haunt my friend Oliver by making his life psychologically and physically hellish. What if he had a mental breakdown because of it?
I would probably be like, "Ahh got ya!" And then I’d go off to the other realm and leave him alone.Previously - What Animal Do You Want to Be?