'The Crystal Maze' Is Coming Back You Guys

Fantastic news for anyone who enjoys watching Challenge TV because normal modern TV is fucking shite: The Crystal Maze is coming back for a one-off special! That's right, the game show in which regular guys and gals in big glasses and floppy Four Weddings and a Funeral haircuts don unflattering jumpsuits and attempt to solve cheeky puzzles in rooms where water means death instead of life, all under the watchful eye of either Richard O'Brien (bald one) or Ed Tudor-Pole (weird bloke your mum sees for a bit who tries to show you his motor bike all the time in an attempt to bond with you). It's being revived as a part of Channel 4's Stand Up to Cancer fundraiser this October.

It's likely that the revival is in no small part thanks to the popularity of The Crystal Maze experience, a real-life recreation of the TV show set up in Angel, north London. We here at VICE were invited to try out The Crystal Maze just before it opened to the public. We were shite at it. Well, I was shite at it. Some of the others got some time crystals, but I managed to fuck up everything I tried. By the end we were in the final room (the one with the giant crystal and the gold and silver ticket fan) with a bunch of other dickheads from different 'media companies' who were all annoying as fuck. Luckily the most annoying team didn't win, even though they were almost certain that they would. We booed them heavily. Fuck those guys.

Anyway, it was rumoured that professional Scottish oddball for hire David Tennant would be presenting, but apparently that's all bollocks. Here's who I think should host the new one:

Noddy Holder
John McCririck
Edward Snowden
Jackie Stallone
Jodie Marsh
Darius Guppy
Terry Waite
Nancy Dell'Olio

There you go Channel 4. Go nuts.

More from VICE:

This Is What It's Like to Be a Maze Master in The Crystal Maze

When Did British Gameshows Become All About Laughing at People?

Dickhead Contestants Are Ruining British Gameshows