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Jessica*, a fine art graduate, has suffered with the disorder on and off ever since she was a child. Since the age of 18, though, she's found it increasingly debilitating."I find myself really longing to feel sad or angry, as these are such refreshing and healthy surges of energy as compared to the emotional wasteland that is depersonalization," she tells me. "I have often struggled to create work because I have felt too numb and consequently have had no urge to create anything. This has been a huge source of frustration to me."Her methods of coping include maintaining a healthy lifestyle and finding release in early morning runs, swimming, cooking, and listening to music with heavy bass, which she can feel. These, she says, anchor her in reality and help her overcome the visceral sense that everything is "made of cardboard."Seven years later, I still live with DPD. I've never been able to shake it completely. Yet, over the years it has eased; I find myself most at peace when I'm outside, particularly in the countryside. The symptoms only become really uncomfortable when I'm tired or hungover. But I can't help but feel that my recovery was hindered a lot by the "experts" I initially saw in Texas. They took sips from Coca Cola cans and nodded approvingly while I sat on the sofa quietly being swallowed.Herein lies the issue with the disorder: People just don't know what it is. This lack of awareness, even among mental health professionals, leads those living with it to feel isolated, fearful and convinced that things will never get better.The Depersonalization Research Unit at Maudsley Hospital in South London opened in 1998. It's the only department of its kind in the UK, and it is spearheaded by the amazing Dr. Elaine Hunter. "I think potentially everyone can experience this," she explains about the symptoms of DPD. "It's something that's a bit innate in all of us. We all have a sort of trip-switch within, but with some of us it's a lot more sensitive than others."The clinic has provided hundreds of people with a place to speak about their experiences and receive treatment through a specialized version of CBT that helps to pinpoint predisposing and precipitating psychological factors that may have triggered that so-called trip-switch. "A lot of the time," Hunter says, "patients will sit down and just burst into tears out of happiness that they're finally understood."I'm told about a particular patient of Hunter's who, through therapy, has trained himself to understand his depersonalization as just "a bit of a headache." "Probably tomorrow, or in a day or two's time, it will be better," he reasons. Probably, it will.*Names have been changed.