Things are looking pretty fuckin' shit-tay in the Duplicitous House of the Fake Kingdom of Fraudulent Jesus this week. Our old friend José Luis de Jesús Miranda (aka the Man Christ Jesus, aka the Antichrist, aka an ex-junk addict turned infallible yet utterly confusing scam artist) got his proverbial ass handed to him in divorce court just before the new year. Some judge in Miami awarded his ex-wife $2.2 million—buttressing her claim that Miranda's money and his church's coffers are one in the same. She's accusing him of doling out beatific beatings while his cohorts have referred to her as a "lesbian gold-digger" on more than one occasion. On top of that, Jesus Man's father and ex-wife will lose homes bought in the church's name if he doesn't pony up the cash within the next month. And all kinds of other stuff, but who really cares what happens to this guy unless it involves cement shoes or one of those car-crusher dealies? Whatever happened to interesting and exciting false Messiahs like Jim Jones, Manson, David Koresh…oh, never mind.