From Fan to Clan

If you created a pie graph indicating the incidences of people meeting their creative heroes, you’d find a massive piece of pie representing all the people who never get to experience an encounter. Next would be a small piece of pie for the people who have been able to hang out with (or possibly date) one of them. Lastly, there’d be a tiny sliver, indiscernible to the naked eye, representing those who have become creative equals with those they have formerly admired from afar. Ending up best friends and creative collaborators with your long held hero is essentially the modern-day fairy tale. For the following few musically gifted people, this dream became reality. Here are the approaches they used:

BE A DEAD MEMBER REINCARNATED
Rob Trujillo, Metallica To say that Rob Trujillo’s path to Hero-dom was paved in death and dishonour is a cool sounding understatement. Firstly, Metallica’s original bass player Cliff Burton had to die. Burton acquiesced in 1986 when his bus overturned in Sweden during the Master of Puppets tour. Next, Burton’s initial replacement had to be a complete asshole. Thankfully, Jason Newstead came up with the goods. A poor fit and a constant reminder of Cliff’s demise, Newstead compounded his unsuitability by starting his badly named side project Echo-Brain. Lastly, singer James Hetfield had to be a giant baby, which he is, and the rest as they say is history. Trujillo eventually beat out Twiggy Ramirez, Pepper Keenan and many others in a star studded audition process to join the band in time for the St. Anger tour. Having already played with Suicidal Tendencies and Ozzy Osbourne, Trujillo’s playing style and physical appearance brought to mind a sort of Cliff Burton 2.0, making him a logical choice and popular addition to the band. So ends the story of how Rob Trujillo won his upfront signing fee of $1,000,000 and a full time gig playing with a band fans offer their girlfriends to night in night out.

DO IT THE ‘IDOL’ WAY

J.D Fortune, INXS

The 1997 death of Michael Hutchence and Jon Stevens’ failure to extend a relationship beyond contractual obligation meant that by 2004, INXS were once again looking for a lead singer. The solution: reality TV. Fifteen Hutchence fans from around the world became contestants on the show

Rockstar: INXS

, competing for the chance to join the seminal melodic rock band. The show was a greasy clichéd delight, offering viewers a syrupy cocktail of makeup wearing men, open shirts, alcoholic sulks, butch women, Dave Navarro, excruciating song choices, and more.

Epitomising it all was Jason Dean Bennison, aka J.D Fortune, a former Elvis impersonator who had been wailing after the band for years. With a performance of ‘What You Need’, original lyrics to ‘Pretty Vegas’, and an endless supply of cougars prowling the crowd in their daughter’s singlets, the Canadian eventually pulled the whole thing off. He became the lead singer and newest member of INXS. Sure, his stardom was short lived and notable only for its resulting drug dependency, but how many people get to say that they were full time singers for the band that brought you

Just Keep Walking

? (The answer is two).

BE REALLY GOOD-LOOKING

Nico, The Velvet Underground

Standard wisdom implies that if you did what Andy Warhol asked you to do, you would eventually get your fifteen minutes, if not more. With Warhol as a kind of artistic director, Lou Reed’s pre punk quartet was already making a mark on pop culture. What other band could play a three hour set of grinding monotones, only to start it all over at the end? “Always leave them wanting less” was their motto. And hey, it worked.

Then came the incredible Nico. A lingerie saleswoman from age 13 as well as model, actress and muse, Nico was possessed with a preternatural beauty. In other words, she was really insanely hot. Finding her way to New York via Ibiza, Paris and Berlin, she eventually became a Warhol favourite, appearing in a number of his films.

With the pieces all in place, Nico’s inclusion into The Velvet Underground was seemingly inevitable. Even with initial resistance from the band, she was installed as backing singer and tambourinist in time for the recording of VU’s debut album. Immediately afterwards, Nico formed simultaneous sexual relationships with the bands’ two driving forces Lou Reed and John Cale. She left the band in 1967.

BE A GENERAL PSYCHO
Henry Rollins, State of Alert Believe it or not, the angry man that is now Henry Rollins was once an angry young boy. So angry in fact, he was sent to military school. There, the young Henry started writing essays about blowing up the school and mass murdering teachers and students. He was tough, violent and not to be messed with. It was only a matter of time before he found an outlet within hardcore music. Describing the first time he heard the Sex Pistols as “a revelation”, Rollins began working as a roadie for a number of hardcore bands. One of these, Tween Idols, eventually gave into Rollins’ non-ceasing pestering and let him onstage to sing. Now, we’ve all seen the man do his thing, so what happened next is pretty obvious. This led to appearances with many different bands, culminating with a full time gig in State of Alert, which was formed from the ashes of The Extorts. Rollins soon became known for his onstage intensity and the physical violence he dished out to audiences at gigs. Here’s to you Henry for showing us exactly what a little talent and a lot of rage can get you.

Photo by Dexter_Mixwith

WORK OUT THE TABS

Davey Lane, You Am I

Davey Lane has teenage boredom to thank for inclusion to the line up of You Am I. With hours of tedium caused by school holidays, Lane and a friend started a website devoted to the much loved band. Lane helped out with the guitar bits, working out how to play each song, and his friend transcribed it all onto the fan site. His work caught the band’s attention and at age 18, he was invited to play a show with them.

The night of the gig, a nervous Lane stuffed up every solo of the night, believing he was “f***ing up his favourite band by playing in it.” However a year later, Lane joined the band playing the release of the live albums,

Round Ten

and

Saturday Night

. Tim Rogers casually described the process as Lane merely becoming a member of the band; members were not subjected to the ignominy of audition.

In 2001, at 21, Lane had his first appearance on a studio record with the release of You Am I’s

Dress Me Up Slowly

, and in 2003, the band opened for The Rolling Stones. Davey’s side project The Pictures is currently gaining a pretty good following too.

BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING

Russell Senior, Pulp

Born in Sheffield, Russell was the kind of guy at university who took activities really seriously. He started societies, went to protests, performed in student films and even had his own band, The Nightmares. It is with this band that Russell first shared a stage with Jarvis Cocker’s Pulp, an act he had previously only reviewed in his fanzine. Yes, he had one of those too.

When Pulp changed directions in 1983, Russell, with his boundless creative energy and enthusiasm, was an easy choice for new band member. Coming in as a guitarist who sometimes played violin, he soon became a core figure of the band who often took vocal duties. Russell stayed with Pulp from their experimental independent years right through to their commercial success in the 1990s, which means he plays on pretty much every Pulp song you’ve ever liked.

Senior left Pulp in 1997 after losing interest in the band’s direction. He went on to form a number of bands, none of which were much chop. He has found success however in the field of production, working with bands such as The Long Blondes and Art Brut.