Hey Ron! - Presidential Campaign

As you probably know, Herman Cain dropped out of the running last week. He was the only African-American frontrunner in the race, and as much as I like supporting a fellow brother, I don’t feel like he was blackballed (excuse the pun). I don’t think he was the best candidate for the job, regardless of his race.

All these women have been ratting him out about sexual misconduct and harassment. He’s not a looker so I think it’s all about political gain… maybe penal gain. Two minutes in, and then he’s out. If he was good at his job, everybody would’ve waited till he got to the White House. But the dude is an idiot. He must have paid for his high school diploma or something. He talks stupid and he always double-talks.

Despite the fact that he’s dumb and ugly, women will sleep with top dogs 'cause they like the power. It’s like an entitlement. Look at rappers! People have sex with rappers and have you seen what they look like?

And why do politicians tend to cheat on their wives? I guess they want a wife at home but a freak in bed. Also, there are only so many women you can turn down. If somebody comes into your hotel room for the fifth time – well, things happen. After a while, they start looking good! Take a look at your co-workers, at those people you looked at and thought, "I would never touch them." They start looking good! At Christmas parties, events, whatever–you get to see another side of them and you’re like, "This is OK."

Only in the USA, having a mistress is bad, so we make a bigger deal about shit like that. All these allegations are just the iceberg of who Herman Cain is. Can he run a country because he likes having sex? I don’t see why not. I mean, look at me–I’m great at my job. (Not that I need to harass women for sex; I just need to ask.) Bottom line is, he was bad at his job and his supporters were all lobbyists. People wouldn’t have voted for him.

Herman, if you’re reading this: Go back to making pizza.

Previously - Hey Ron! - I'm Not White