How Many Ways Did the Oscars Offend Everyone?

By Harry Cheadle

Ah, the Academy Awards! The four-hour event where the actresses, actors, directors, and producers who create the most popular artistic medium in the world are finally given their due. It’s a time for everyone to gather around their television sets and bask in a night of song, dance, jokes, emotion, and a celebration of films. Haha, just kidding! Like all major events where anyone talks for more than half an hour, it was a chance for people to get extremely angry about what others were saying and doing. Here is an incomplete list of the events that happened during the Oscars that people took offense to. (Some of these are serious things that you should get upset about, and some are just some bullshit that you shouldn’t even think about; I’ll trust you to decide which are which.)

The mistreatment of artists who worked on Life of Pi, which won the Oscar for Best Visual Effects.

Seth MacFarlane doing a song and dance devoted to movies in which actresses showed their boobs.

Seth MacFarlane, just sort of in general.

The underlying systemic sexism that Seth MacFarlane’s jokes represent.

Robin Roberts not having hair because she has a rare blood disorder.

Lena Dunham. (I don't know if Lena Dunham was even at the Oscars, but it's a safe bet that someone somewhere is always getting offended by Lena Dunham, and someone else is offended that that person is offended.)

The Onion writing a tweet that jokingly called nine-year-old Oscar nominee Quvenzhane Wallis a “cunt.”

The Onion deleting the tweet that called the nine-year-old girl a cunt and apologizing for it.

The Onion reprimanding the unnamed writer who came up with that tweet:

People claiming that The Onion shouldn’t have apologized.

Lupe Ontiveros, an important Latino Hollywood figure, being left off of the “In Memoriam” list of people who died in the past year.

Michelle Obama showing up on a big screen with members of the military to announce the Best Picture winner.

Michelle Obama using the military as “props”:

Michelle Obama’s bare chest and arms.

Argo winning Best Picture when it was clearly “an advertisement for the CIA,” according to Iranian state TV.

Argo being shitty and reductive.

The narcissistic, boring-as-shit event even existing.

"The set was tacky and Django Unchained was racist and the broadcast was boring." —Donald Trump

If you were offended by something, please leave it in the comments below.

@HCheadle

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