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      How to Flip a Girl Over for Doggy Style

      March 31, 2013


      Illustration by mileanme via Wikimedia Commons

      I’m not sure if guys know this or not, but flipping a girl over mid-sex is a fraught act. Guys never seem to get the timing or the etiquette quite right, so that the disappointing anti-climax of many sex stories I hear from my female friends ends with, “And then he just flipped me over!” Cue resounding sigh and understanding femme-camaraderie head nodding.

      In my experience, timing is the biggest problem, and here comes my first piece of advice to any dude who wants to do it from behind: be sure you don’t flip a girl over for doggy when she’s already on the yellow brick road to orgasm, especially if all you’re planning on doing is pounding her from behind and coming in 30 seconds.

      I could give a specific example, or tell you a certain story, but that would minimize the scope of this problem. The inappropriately timed doggy flip has happened to me with almost every dude that’s ever had me over easy. My life seems to be filled with guys who just don’t know how to read their audience, and it happens that on numerous occasions I’ve been enjoying some pretty wonderful sex, which I’ve generously vocalized, and yet I’ve found shouting, “OH MY GOD I’M SO CLOSE,” often equates with being stopped and turned over so the guy can pummel me from behind with a friction causing in-and-out motion that only feels good for one person (hint: not me).

      I wonder where this notion comes from? That turning sex into an extreme sport is the best way to get a girl to cum. Actually, I don’t wonder; it’s definitely a porn thing. What is curious though, is that a man, upon being given explicit sexual instructions (“That feels so good,” or “Don’t Stop”) would think the best course of action is to ignore those instructions. How would you feel, guy, if I was sexing you, and you told me, “I’m about to cum all up in your tight little pussy” and my reaction was to immediately STOP, TURN YOU ONTO YOUR TUMMY and start DRY HUMPING YOUR ASS, ignoring anything that would be enjoyable about this scenario to you?

      Why do dudes just assume that what they enjoy (in-and-out speed fucking) is necessarily the best route to making a woman, who has clearly expressed otherwise, cum? I am truly baffled. There are only two sure ways to know that a woman wants it from behind; one is to ask and she says yes, and the other is if she turns over of her own accord and wiggles her ass in your face. But if you insist on being "spontaneous," or weren't raised with very good manners, or just like to have your way as you please, here are some other tips for not screwing up the doggy-flip:

      Watch Out For The Wall

      Concussions aren’t sexy. When you’re flipping a girl over, be aware of your surroundings. If you can’t multi-task, maybe take an inventory of the environment when you first enter the room. Is there a headboard? Side table? Is the bed pushed against the wall? These are all things you don’t want to accidentally smash a girl’s face into. I don’t know about other girls, but it also makes me feel pretty objectified when a dude isn’t spatially aware of where my body begins and ends, but knows exactly where my hole is, and is willing to sacrifice the gray matter around it in order to get his dick wet.

      Have a Fiddle

      This leads me nicely to my next point. There are other bits around the hole you’re sticking it into. These are called “nipples” and “clitoris” respectively. The best way to avoid being a selfish jerk when you’ve got that nice rear view is to have a fiddle with your girl’s other parts.

      Squeeze Her Legs Together

      There are still some guys that haven’t got the memo on this, so I’m going to do us all a favor and just say it now: doggy style sex is better for everyone when the girl has her knees squeezed together whether she’s laying flat or on her knees. Forget everything you’ve seen in porn; sex from behind doesn’t just mean a girl on her knees, legs spread, being violently slammed from behind. Also, slow and steady wins the race, so when you’ve got your tortoise in her hare, try taking it easy with differing speeds. Again, not everything that dudes like will make girls cum and sex is, or should be, an exercise in share and share alike.

      Don’t Assume You Can Put It in Her Butt

      When a girl allows you to turn her over during sex it’s not a tacit agreement that you’re welcome to put it in her butt. ASK BEFORE YOU DO BUTT STUFF. That’s my new mantra/idea for a cool bumper sticker.

      This Isn’t a Good Time to Stop and Have A Wank

      Chances are if your girl was enjoying what you were doing BEFORE you flipped her over, she’s not going to be thrilled to have to lay there while you masturbate onto her ass.

      Leave the God Damn Condom On

      I mean, how stupid do you think girls are? Do you think just because we can’t SEE what you’re doing we don’t KNOW? Trying to take a condom off after flipping girl over is the sex equivalent of a baby that thinks if it covers its stupid baby eyes you can’t see it any more. It’s pretty insulting to us that you think you can get away with that move, if not criminal (women reserve the right to consent to be infected with your STDs and/or babies).

      Hair Pulling Is for Bitch Fights

      In my experience, when a guy’s dick is hard he kind of forgets that he’s a big huge man and I’m a tiny little girl, and that yanking my hair back at full force is painful, not sexy. And while a light hair tug (palm on the scalp type thing, not grabbing it from the ends, which is what girls do when they’re fighting) is sexy with a firm kiss, there’s something about hair pulling when a dude is ramming you from behind that makes you feel like a horse that’s being ridden.

      Humans Need to Breathe

      Succeeding in flipping a girl during sex is not an excuse to suffocate her. Look, I know you’re caught up in the moment, but be aware that if you’re gripping the back of a girl’s neck (which can be hot), you’ve got to make sure you’re not smothering her whole face into the pillow, and that she’s still capable of taking in air. Probably don’t offer her a straw to breathe through, but just be aware that if you’re pushing the back of her head down the muffled sounds you can hear might be her trying to scream for air, rather than her thrilled groans.

      @Kat_George

      More from Kat:

      How Your Dude Like to Cum and What It Says About Him

      Why Period Sex Is the Best Sex

      Reasons to Fuck a Guy on the First Date

       

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      Topics: sex, advice, porn

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