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Sex

Dominated by a Goddess: Hypnodommes and the Aural World of Erotic Hypnosis

"Trust is the key word here. You can never fully let go if you don't trust your Goddess."

Illustration via Flickr user Esther Kirby

Does the idea of a deviant witch putting you under an erotic spell turn you on? Being kept in a mental prison by transgressive powers that far exceed your own resistance, begging, transforming, and coming at the snap of her fingers? Your mind turned to putty, warped in any direction, a plaything for someone whose hypnotic abilities transcend the laws of time and space?

Yeah, probably not. That's a little intense for most people's taste. But there's enough fantasy-tinged erotica out there that you can't write it off completely. Man created the siren and the succubus: man has always dreamed of a devilish, otherworldly woman to come along and steal his control.

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Unfortunately, we don't live in a world of succubi, or witches, or sirens. No spells, no sleight-of-hand hexes, just the mundanity of imagination. So where do you turn when you can only get off through magical interference and the slash-fics aren't cutting it anymore? That's where your hypnodomme comes in.


Erotic hypnosis is exactly as it sounds. A hypnotist (usually a woman) puts you under a trance and makes suggestions that get you all hot and bothered. It's classic dominant/submissive kink, but with a metaphysical bent. Getting bound and gagged might be fun, but erotic hypnosis delves into more abstract concepts like mind control or feminization. The vendors take on appropriately gothic names (Isabella Valentine, Nikki Fatale, to name a couple) and offer their services in MP3 downloads. You browse, and select the trance that seems to appeal to your sensibilities. Do you want to be hypnotized on a beach? Perhaps a spa? They can make that happen. Some of the more austere options include penis enlargement and the mythical hands-free orgasm. Allegedly you just plug in, lean back, and let the words make you come.

"I see it as their perception, that they'll feel like their penis will get bigger, or smaller, or whatever it is they're going for," says Jenny DeMilo, a veteran hypnodomme. "I do all sorts of crazy stuff. I have a series on premature ejaculation, like men wanting to prematurely ejaculate, and that was really popular."

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DeMilo has been a sex worker for a long time, starting as a call girl before becoming a traditional dominatrix. It was in those years that a friend in the industry mentioned she was making ends meet doing erotic hypnosis work on the side. At first she was hesitant, but eventually gave it a shot on a website called NiteFlirt.

"I did a lot of research, read a lot of hypnosis scripts, put up my first files and they sold like crazy," says DeMilo. "At first they were little five minute things, and now I do full hour-long files. It was a natural progression. I don't have to see clients anymore. I saw them as a call girl, I saw them as a dom, but now I can still make a living without the physical interaction."

Like many of the other hypnodommes on the internet, Jenny is not a certified hypnotherapist. Self-taught, taking cues from other vendors, Jenny puts her own spin on an established formula. She's known for her feminization files. Hypnotic trances designed specifically to "force" grown men to feel like sissies. A couple samples from her website include "Cross Dressing Party Slut," "Obey Cock," and of course, "Cum Bath."

"The clients are interested in exploring that, but are comfortable because, well, they're not really doing it—I'm forcing them," says DeMilo.

"A domme has to be active," an erotic hypnosis client who prefers to remain anonymous told me. "When you're conditioned, you will crave her words. The direct contact with your Goddess will amplify your feelings, and you will fall deeper under her spell and feel more pleasure. To me, a domme has to be caring and honest. I wouldn't engage in a relationship with just anybody. Trust is the key word here. You can never fully let go if you don't trust your Goddess."

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That's the thing about hypnosis. It's impossible to force anyone to do something against their will. The standard line is "all hypnosis is self-hypnosis." If you listen to, say, "Sissy Cock Slave," you won't become a sissy cock slave unless that's what you want. Terms like "force" and "mind-control" are just buzzwords to elevate the kink. You don't go see a dominatrix for mutual conversation.

"This scene is not for everybody. You have to train and practice in order to achieve something. Some people are more suggestible than others and experience trance differently," says the client. "Through training and repetition, you will probably reach your goals, but if you go into the adventure half-hearted, your rewards might be limited."

Erotic hypnosis files tend to be pretty hefty, averaging around $50 for a full, hour-long session, going up to the high $70s from some merchants. It's expensive enough that it's given rise to a pretty substantial torrent economy in the scene.

"When people create fetish videos they charge by the minute," says DeMilo. "Audio is generally longer, and I used to go price-per-minute, but eventually it just matters if the market will care. Financial doms charge crazy amounts of money for their files. If you build it, they will come."

The anonymous customer agrees.

"The sessions I've bought have been between $25 and $35. It's completely fair. They bring me so much pleasure, and I don't think my Goddess cheats me, or rips me off in anyway," he says. "After all, it takes time to produce a nice session. You need the proper gear, you've spent countless hours training your tone of voice, writing a script, and recording and editing it yourself. The dommes are artists who put a lot of time into their craftsmanship. I still enjoy sessions I bought a year ago, so I feel like it's a bargain."

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I decided to give erotic hypnosis a try, choosing "Jackpot" by Isabella Valentine, perhaps the most famous artifact in erotic hypnosis history, or at least the one most readily available. You can find it free on DailyMotion if you're curious. The idea is Ms. Valentine takes you into a deep trance, and anchors, well, an orgasm to the word "jackpot." The science behind that is dubious at best, but I appreciate the effort.

I'll give her this: the trance part of hypnosis totally works. I felt warm, cozy, and, yeah, entranced halfway through.

The sexy stuff didn't quite do it for me, but that's no fault of hers. It's just not my scene. The femdom mind-fuckery would almost certainly work on someone more inclined toward these vibes, but for me they just happily glided by. So no orgasm, but a pretty nice nap.

And honestly? After talking to Jenny DeMilo, any residual sexiness that erotic hypnosis might have was kind of ruined. She likes doing erotic hypnosis because she can pay the bills without touching clients in person.

"I get great stories from erotic hypnosis, but I'm just making a living," says DeMilo. "The clients believe that I'm getting something out of it, and sometimes they're correct, but that's just part of the fantasy. I'm amazed occasionally why they want this. It's generally not my fetish, it's my job. Turning men into sissies doesn't get me off. But if they believe it, I'll let them believe it."

I ask the client if he needs to suspend his disbelief, and instead engage in the fantasy that his domme isn't just doing her job. He seems resistant to that idea.

"Nobody is pretending anything. Everybody likes to be praised. Imagine if you got a bunch of fan mail everyday about how amazing you are, and how powerful you are, and how much pleasure and enjoyment you're giving another living creature," he says. "It's a huge ego trip, and these dominant women get off on that."

I suppose that's the best you can do in a world without succubi.

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